


Some Legends Are Told

by StarSpangledBucky



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Politics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Archery, Arguing, Assassination Attempt(s), BAMF Steve Rogers, Barebacking, Biting, Bottom Bucky, Breaking Boundaries, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Doesn't Know How To Dance, Bucky Is Very Drunk, Bucky/Pietro Friends With Benefits, Character Death, Clubbing, Dancing, Dark Past, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Don't Become Close Friends With The Governor's Son, Drama, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Drugs, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, Fights, Fluff, Français | French, Friends With Benefits, Heavy Drinking, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It Gets Really Dramatic, Jealous Bucky Barnes, Kidnapping, Love, Love Bites, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Overdosing, Paranoia, Parties, Past Drug Induced Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Steve Rogers/Brock Rumlow - Freeform, Past Violence, Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve, Public Sex, Rescue Missions, Romanian, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Dancing, Smoking, Steve Feels, Strange Drug/Virus Effects, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Swing Dancing, Temporary Character Death, Therapy, Tony Feels, Top Steve Rogers, Unplanned Love, Unrequited Love At The Start, Violence, Wakes & Funerals, Wrestling, eventual Steve/Bucky, many tears, war memories, Русский | Russian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:41:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3886231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSpangledBucky/pseuds/StarSpangledBucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Governor Barnes is the longest reigning Governor of New York. His only problem is his rowdy, out of control son, James Buchanan Barnes, or Bucky by his friends. After serving in Afghanistan for three years, Bucky's life hasn't been the same since. His father is in need of an extra bodyguard to protect Bucky from his ludicrous ways, and Steve Rogers becomes that man to protect the Governor's son. Yet along the way, Steve and Bucky find themselves drawn to each other when Bucky's personal demons begin to show. Putting both Steve's job and Bucky's life in the firing line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Some Legends Are Told - Cover Art

 


	2. Prologue - Psychological Recovery...Six Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives." - Theodore Roosevelt

_** ** _

 

****_**Albany, NY** _

**_12th May 2015_**

Silence loomed through the halls of the New York State Executive Mansion in Albany, home to Governor Barnes and his son James Buchanan Barnes, or better known by his friends, Bucky. His father had been serving as Governor for just over four years now, Bucky spending nearly one year in the mansion as of now. Three years ago he served in the army as Sergeant James Barnes, in Afghanistan. He'd been a part of a group _'The Howling Commandos'_ during that time. It consisted of Dum Dum Dugan their leader, Gabe Jones, Jim Morita, James Montgomery Falsworth and Jacques Dernier. As far as Bucky knew now, Dugan and Falsworth were still serving, Dernier was pulled out of the army a year ago after an injury that put him out of action, Morita died in battle and Jones had gone missing in action into Bucky's second year of service. 

However Bucky could only assume the worst for his friend. They were friends Bucky kept close to his heart, even if he didn't speak with them anymore. He hadn't been the same since he'd arrived home, a shoulder wound in tow which still gave him grief from time to time. For months, Bucky's psychological recovery from PTSD etcetera, took at least six months before he was anywhere near some form of stability. Bouncing from one therapist to another began to discombobulate him and push him further and further away from wanting to see a therapist. The only one he had began to tolerate was Sam Wilson, he was relaxed and wouldn't push Bucky further than he needed to be pushed. But even still, Bucky had a bitterness to him that shone through in his attitude. It hadn't been much of an issue but after feeling like he'd been cooped up enough, he partied. The brunette partied until he passed out someone's floor, couch or maybe even outside on the lawn, wherever Bucky dropped, he slept. 

His drinking became dangerous and Governor Barnes always found himself at the hospital on a Friday or Saturday night with Bucky lying in a hospital bed, sleeping after having his stomach pumped. He wanted his son to be the one to take over when he was finished with politics, but after Bucky came home, that hope, that light...it faded day by day. Bucky couldn't care for politics if it was forced upon him really. He was still at a young age where being carefree and partying hard was on his agenda, not sitting around having to deal with political roles. Of course, he did attend events with his father and those times were where Bucky became a different person. He acted how his father had wanted him to act all day, everyday. Bucky would be polite, he would mingle, he would show respect, and he'd keep his drinking to an all time low. Yet as soon as they'd leave, he'd be organising a get together at a club, pulling his tie off and rumpling up his clothes so he didn't look like he'd just been to an elegant, formal occasion. 

Bucky always found himself in bar fights too, either over valid or very ridiculous reasons. But because of his attitude, it always tipped his opponent over the edge. Tony Stark, his current bodyguard would always have to intervene and drag a rowdy, foul-mouthed, drunk Bucky out of the bar and into his car. If anything, Tony was a little too soft on Bucky for the first few days and took him everywhere, because Bucky always had this way about him that would sway Tony. Bucky started to dislike Tony though when he started treating him a little more sternly, he didn't like the thought of bodyguards being around him 24/7 but he didn't give Tony as much strife as he used to. Tony was always patient with him but on several occasions he wanted to yell at the kid, scold him, lecture him, kick him up the ass...anything to get the brunette to see that he's screwing up his life as each hour ticks by. It all started when Bucky came out as gay after he got back from Afghanistan, while Governor Barnes wasn't surprised, it did spark interest with the media. 

Several newspapers and magazines had Bucky's face plastered all over them with him getting handsy with other men and kissing them right in front of the cameras. Bucky was a handsome young man, so there was no reason as to why he wouldn't attract some attention from the same sex. What with his short, messy brunette hair, bright blue-grey eyes, stubble and cheeky smile, it was bound to happen. Bucky was ridiculed for it, some saying it was outrageous, but his father hit back and made it clear that his son's sexuality wouldn't have an affect on anything for the foreseeable future. But with all the ridiculing came a stressful time for Bucky. While still recovering from his PTSD, the harshness of others took its toil on him. 

About three months into his recovery it all became too much and Bucky tried to drown himself in the mansion's swimming pool, only to have Tony dive in and rescue him. Tony had only been his bodyguard for those last four months of Bucky's recovery, his last bodyguard being excused from his work during the first two months. Nobody knew _why_ except for the director of S.H.I.E.L.D who ran the security team Tony worked for, Governor Barnes and Bucky of course. While it seemed Bucky was getting better now, not everyone was convinced, _especially_ Tony. In fact, only Tony felt like Bucky wasn't making much progress. Even as he sat outside Bucky's suite with Agent Clint Barton, another bodyguard he was assigned with from time to time, Clint himself hardly knew what went on with Bucky. 

Clint had been there as the Governor's bodyguard since he had been elected, that was around the time Bucky went into the army, and he'd only just met him when he'd arrived home. Tony was convinced Bucky was only tumbling further and further into a deep, dark hole where he was trapped and couldn't get out. He and Clint were playing cards when they heard the screaming, a bottle smashing and then another yell. They were on their feet and through the door in seconds, seeing Bucky thrashing around on the ridiculously sized king bed. And of course, one of Bucky's _'friends'_ was there with him, soothing him and holding him down.

"Bucky, you're alright, it was just a dream," he whispered.

Pietro Maximoff, he'd been showing up over the past few months, becoming a friend to Bucky. That's what Bucky told everyone anyway, he was just a friend. _Friend my ass, more like friend with benefits_ Tony thought, upon first meeting Pietro. He'd known, he'd heard the noises seeping out from under the crack in the door that wouldn't be mistaken for anything other than sex noises. First time Tony ever heard a scream from the room, he'd kicked the locked door open, only to find Bucky on his knees, ass in the air with Pietro behind him who had a startled look on his face while Bucky just lay their smugly, biting his lip. 

_"Come to watch?"_

_"S-sorry, I'm so sorry sir,"_

Tony remembered slamming the door behind him so hard he may have heard it crack. It took him all his leftover energy to actually relay the story to Clint who simply burst into fits of laughter. He'd always thought there was something strange about Pietro, because Bucky started to show signs of someone who took drugs. First it was the smell of pot that got Tony's alarm bells ringing, but Bucky pulled the excuse that it was for _'medicinal purposes'_ , to keep him calm. But then he started to notice changes in Bucky's behaviour. He started to become slightly anti-social, only wanting to speak to Pietro, he started getting aggressive and often had episodes of paranoia, resulting in anxiety attacks. There was one drug Tony knew that could cause symptoms like that, _cocaine_. He knew this, he'd been there a long, _long_ time ago. His job as a bodyguard was now as some sort of redemption to prove that he was on the mend, truly. 

"Let me go I have to save him!" Bucky screamed.

"Bucky wake up!" Pietro yelled, shaking him gently.

"No, no, no! Help!" Bucky cried out, swinging his left arm out.

Pietro caught it quickly and held his wrist tightly, right hand pressed on Bucky's chest now. Tony scowled and went to intervene, until Clint blocked him with his hand, giving Tony a small shake of his head. Bucky's chest heaved as he started to settle, falling back into the silk pillows on the bed. Sweat trailed down his skin, his hands going slack as Pietro whispered calmly. The brunette's eyes opened, bloodshot and pooled with tears as he stared up at Pietro.

"Pietro?" he choked out.

"Yes, you had another bad dream," Pietro replied.

Bucky sighed groggily, shaking his head as he closed his eyes again. Every time he woke up from a nightmare, he always had a sense of guilt wash over him. He hated being the reason for people waking up so early in the morning. Pietro smoothed his fingers through Bucky's short brunette hair, whispering what sounded like _Russian? Romanian? Serbian?_ Tony had no clue. He'd been informed that Bucky got taught Russian during his childhood. Pietro on the other hand was from Transia which bordered with Serbia and Romania. But Tony figured he must have been teaching Bucky the languages he knew as well. So Bucky was becoming like a language dictionary or something. He honestly hated it when it happened, but for some odd reason it calmed Bucky down. Tony crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at Clint, giving him a look of _'can I intervene now'_ or else he'd surely crack. Clint just gave him a brief nod and Tony sighed with relief.

"Sir, are you okay?" he questioned. 

"He's fine," Pietro answered.

"I didn't ask you... _Pietro_ ," Tony replied, the young man's name falling off his tongue with venom.

"Leave him alone will ya'," Bucky grunted, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"Sir-" Tony paused, seeing the steely look he got from Bucky who decided to sit up.

"I said...leave  him. What are you doing in here anyway? Did you break my fucking door again?" he asked, voice raised.

"Kid, you were screaming, who knows what was going on in here," Tony snapped.

 The brunette smiled with a teasing look in his eyes to follow.

"It could have been for the same reason when you barged in the first time," he retorted, wiggling his eyebrows.

Pietro laughed quietly beside him, covering his mouth with his hand as Bucky's hand rested on his hip. Tony rolled his eyes, arms over his chest again. He loathed Bucky's attitude, he loathed Pietro's presence, and he looked as if he was about to pop a blood vessel in his neck. 

" _You_. Maximoff, Clint's taking you back home to your sister. Bucky, you've got breakfast to get to," he ordered.

"Breakfast? What fucking time is it?" Bucky asked.

"7am," Tony answered.

Bucky groaned, throwing his head back.

"Tell my dad he can shove it," he muttered. "I'm not even hungry," he added.

"Governor Barnes insists you go. Breakfast is at 8am but I know how long you take. Come on, I need to haul my ass to Manhattan after I've escorted your boyfriend home," Clint interjected.

"Not my boyfriend," Bucky grunted.

Pietro reached for his jacket, pushing himself off the bed, only to have Bucky grab his wrist.

"Stay, you don't need to listen to them," the brunette huffed. 

"I'd like to, but your _watchdogs_ are right, my sister needs me," Pietro mused, smiling sadly.

_Watchdogs? Why you little-_ Tony thought. 

"Come back soon?" Bucky asked.

"Always," Pietro hummed.

He ducked down and gave Bucky a quick kiss on the lips, startling the brunette. Pietro grinned and shrugged his jacket on, turning back to face Bucky.

"You didn't see that coming?" he teased.

Bucky scoffed.

"Get outta' here, I'll see you at that thing on the weekend," he murmured.

"What thing?" Pietro queried.

"Tick tock boys," Tony grumbled.

"Stark, does anyone ever tell you your patience is shit?" Bucky questioned.

Again he earned another hard glare from Tony and Clint, before rolling his eyes and throwing the sheets off himself. 

"That party for my dad's birthday," he issued.

"Oh right, yes, I'll see you then," Pietro crooned.

"Later sexy," Bucky purred, winking at Pietro.

"You talk too much," he quipped, before brushing by Tony, smirking smugly.

"Will you be okay to handle him?" Clint asked.

"Sure, go on take him away before I lose my patience," Tony sighed.

Clint left the room quietly and Tony looked back over at Bucky to assess how he was. He looked a little tense and reserved now that Pietro was gone. Whenever he was around one of his friends, he was always this _'cocky son of a bitch'_ in Tony's words. The brunette rested his hands on his thighs, staring down at the floor as he yawned loudly.

"Late night?" Tony asked, breaking the silence. 

"Why do you care?" Bucky bit back.

"Good question, but it's kinda' my job to make sure you're not sleeping in and you know...fiddling around with people you shouldn't be," the agent answered, bitterly.

Bucky tilted his head to the side and clenched his jaw, his eyes falling closed.

"Pietro is a good guy, I don't know what your problem is with him," he muttered.

"A good guy? Who probably does drugs and god knows what else, yeah, sure. Real nice guy," Tony scoffed.

"It's just pot. He can do what he wants," Bucky laughed, his gaze fixed on Tony now.

"I bet," Tony retorted. "Come on, get ready," he added, stepping forward.

"I can manage," Bucky snarled, holding his hand up.

"Don't bullshit me kid," Tony quipped, grabbing Bucky by the arm.

"Hey don't fucking touch me alright!" the brunette yelled, pushing Tony back with his hand. "I don't need to be babysat, I'm not a kid, I'm not weak. I can manage, just leave and wait outside!" he exclaimed.

_Again with the aggressiveness_ Tony thought. It was really starting to make him certain about Bucky possibly taking cocaine, but he didn't have enough evidence. And he really wasn't sure who he was supposed to go to about it. He'd somewhat brought it up with Clint, but he couldn't offer anything. Tony thought maybe Bucky's therapist might help, but it was impossible to schedule a session with him he was so busy. The brunette admitted defeat and kept himself silent as he turned and left the room, closing the door gently behind him. Bucky pushed himself off the bed, staggering slightly as he held his hand out against the wall. 

"Fuck," he cursed.

He lied a lot that's for sure. Sometimes he didn't want to get out of bed, sometimes he just couldn't. After his mother died when he was fifteen, he spiralled out of control as a teen but had his father keeping him in check. Ever since he became Governor, Bucky hardly saw him and they only talked briefly, or they argued. _'He's too busy for me'_ would be Bucky's excuse, not that he gave much of a damn anyway. It seemed after his time in Afghanistan he felt like his old teenage self. He'd just turned twenty-five in March, not that he took much notice, nor did anybody else. Pietro may have brought him a large bottle of Русский Стандарт and Столи́чная, Bucky's two favourite vodkas, as well as some of his favourite movies. And Clint might have darted off in one of the SUV's and snuck back in with takeaway for the pair. 

So, it could be said that Bucky favoured Clint for those reasons, and favoured him over Tony. Because Tony was all for _'doing the right thing'_ while Clint did let Bucky relax a little more when he was in the mansion. Bucky sighed and grabbed his cigarettes off the bedside table, wandering over to the small balcony outside a pair of French doors that Pietro had left open all night. It probably wasn't the smartest idea, on account of all the possible bad situations that could happen, but Bucky shrugged it off. If he got kidnapped, _big deal_ , if he got killed in his sleep, well at least he wouldn't have to end his life, someone else would have done it for him. That's how Bucky saw everything in his head, he didn't feel like he deserved to be alive. This most likely stemmed from seeing Morita dying on the battlefield and then losing Jones, not knowing what happened. 

And what of Dugan and Falsworth who were still there. _Were they dead? Were they alive?_ Bucky _wanted_ to know so desperately. He pulled a cigarette from the packet and held it between his lips, searching for his lighter on the small table outside. Bucky blinked away the sleep in his eyes, squinting out at the city where the sun was just rising up high on the horizon. His hands trembled as he flicked the lighter open, catching the flame before the light wind blew it out, sighing in relief when his cigarette lit. Taking the cocaine Pietro brought for him had given him shaky hands from time to time, but he tried his best to hide it. His friend...with benefits of course, brought him both pot and cocaine whenever he visited, because usually within a week and a half Bucky had finished it. And the funny thing to Bucky was that Pietro was such a regular, he stopped getting searched when he arrived, so he didn't have to worry about hiding the pot and cocaine so well.

Supposedly he needed that fix, _desired_ it even, otherwise he'd go through serious withdrawal symptoms. He should have felt ashamed, but in all honestly he didn't. Bucky used it as a way to take himself away from all of the hell that he feels and all the hell that he sees inside his head. He hides his secret, but he's fairly certain Tony is onto him, which could be very, very bad if he was caught out. But that's why Bucky acted like he did, to fool everyone and to push them away so they didn't get too close. Bucky didn't want to get too close to anybody and it's why Pietro was only his friend who he had _'fun'_ times with. It wasn't intimate, it wasn't loving, it was just sheer pleasure, day in, day out, no strings attached. That was how Bucky ran his life. And nobody was going to stop his wicked ways. At least, that's what Bucky thought and not what he knew.

* * *

_**Manhattan, NYC** _

_**12th May 2015**_

The S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters was situated in Upper Manhattan on West 143rd Street. It housed over forty agents who were either in training or couldn't afford a place of their own. In total it was populated with over three hundred, although the numbers dropped and rose whenever agents retired or were unfortunately killed on the job. Natasha Romanov was the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D and Clint was her second in command, or Assistant Director of S.H.I.E.L.D to put it more formally, when he wasn't attending to Governor Barnes and Bucky. It was the highest ranked security service out of another four in the New York State and now spanned across several countries including Russia, England, Italy, Brazil, Japan, Cuba and Australia. 

They trained over twenty five new recruits twice a day in two separate intervals, with a high ranked agent as their mentors. The recruits would learn everything from; basic weapons training, firearms tactics, vehicle searching, transferring the client safely to and from a vehicle, unarmed combat, tactical driving, assessing venues before allowing the client inside, first aid and guarding the client's bedroom if necessary. Some would train in specific tasks such as; providing protective escorts, crowd screening and control, or searching for explosives or electronic surveillance devices, putting them in that occupation for life or for however long they remained at S.H.I.E.L.D. 

That _very_ day, they were expecting an important agent who was flying over from Washington D.C. who would be joining their team. Natasha was in their meeting room, spreading files up on holographic screens, prepping for the debriefing. Clint was organising the papers for their newest member, printing out responsibilities for the Governor's mansion and daily tasks for Bucky. He'd be given the opportunity to escort the new agent to Albany and address him on how Bucky acted and everything he needed to know so that they didn't have another incident like the last bodyguard Bucky had. 

"How's Barnes doing today?" Natasha asked, flicking unneeded files into a trash can on the screens.

"Fine, _well..._ Stark was a little snappy with him today but Pietro was there again and I had to take him home to his sister Wanda and then drive nearly three hours here to Manhattan. So Bucky was a little grouchy," Clint replied.

"I still can't piece together what's going on with this Pietro guy. He turns up at the end of every week when he could turn up at any time. Something doesn't sit right, but I hope when we get this new agent, he'll try crack through to Bucky," Natasha sighed.

"Don't Stark and I do that already?" Clint asked.

"You've tried haven't you?" she questioned. 

"Well, yeah, but what makes this new guy any different? Nobody can get through to Bucky, he's starting to get pretty anti-social. You know how he would always go to breakfast with his father, no questions asked. Well today he said Governor Barnes could _shove_ it," the brunette answered.

Natasha's eyebrow raised in question, her gaze falling from the screens. 

"Huh, and that's not normal?" she queried.

"Nope, not one bit," Clint murmured.

"Hmm," Natasha hummed, turning back to the screens.  

A knock sounded at the door and Clint lifted his head, seeing a line of nine agents outside. He rolled his eyes and walked over to the door, pulling it open. _This damn door, always locking from the outside_ he thought. He filed the agents in one by one, directing them to their assigned seats, before flicking the lights off. Natasha smiled kindly at him, her face illuminated by the blue screens as he mossy green eyes scanned around the room. She'd picked their best agents to attend the briefing, considering that their new arrival was a high ranked bodyguard and this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her agents who would most likely resign in a few years time. 

"Good morning," she greeted.

"Good morning Director," they replied in unison, a whole line of different accents stringing together.

"Now, I know this is such short notice, but I didn't receive the news until late last night when most of you were either on patrol, training new recruits or resting. We received news that a highly ranked bodyguard who worked for no company will be joining us here at S.H.I.E.L.D," Natasha spoke.

Some chatter started and Natasha rested her hands behind her back, letting out a small sigh. Clint wandered over to Natasha's right side and crossed his arms over his chest, staring down the table at the agents. The conversation died down when several of them caught the Director and Assistant Director's gazes staring at them sternly. 

"As I was saying-" Natasha paused, waving over a file on the screen. "This is Steven Grant Rogers, he has been a bodyguard and agent for over seven years and he's done some pretty honourable jobs in his line of work. For two years he served as security for the Queen in England, after that he did some field work in Russia, Romania and France for three years, for one year he worked as security for the President of The United States and for his seventh year he did uncover work in The Caribbean. Now, it seems, he's downgrading a pitch, and because of his high status and long line of work, he's been asked to be a personal bodyguard for the Governor's son and him only. And, because of S.H.I.E.L.D being the top security service in this state, he has been assigned to us. So I want you all to respect him, welcome him kindly and please try not to embarrass yourselves. He'll be staying in a room with Agent Barton for today and then they will both be traveling to stay in a the S.H.I.E.L.D apartment building near the Governor's mansion, understood?" she explained.

"Yes Director," the agents answered.

"Good, I'll give you all a moment to read through the files in front of you and display all the files on the screen. If you want to ask any questions, don't hesitate," Natasha chimed.

She let out a deep breath as she stepped off to the side with Clint, her hand resting on her hip. Clint lent against a desk and fixed his gaze on her. He knew she worked _too_ much, he could see the dark circles around her eyes and the distant stares she gave sometimes.

"When was the last time you slept?" he questioned.

"About fifteen hours ago," she replied.

"For how long?" he asked.

"Two hours," Natasha mumbled.

"Natasha..." Clint whispered.

They'd gotten to that stage in their relationship where they knew each other more than _anyone_ else in the room. Clint's fingers brushed her knuckles on her hand that was hidden from view and she smiled softly. During work they hardly got much time to spend together unless they were debriefing agents, checking up on new recruits or sitting down for lunch together. Natasha did visit the S.H.I.E.L.D apartment in Albany from time to time, but apart from that they worked away from each other on a regular basis.

"Listen, I won't be doing any late night work tonight, so why don't you stop by my room once you've gotten Steve settled in. I'll go out and buy takeout, rent a few movies, we'll have some beer, wine whatever. Just the two of us," Natasha offered.

"Is that a date?" Clint hummed, smiling widely.

"Might be," Natasha chuckled.

Clint glanced at the other agents who were too engrossed in the files to see the somewhat intimate moment unfolding before them, so Clint took his chances. He cupped Natasha chin between his fingers and lent down, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. She grinned into the kiss and willingly kissed back, before pulling away and quickly stealing another one.

"Not here," she breathed out.

"Bit late for that," Clint teased.

Natasha slapped him on chest lightly and moved away from him as she wandered back over to the screens. She turned her head to the left and clocked Steve's presence as he strode beside a receptionist who worked down in the lobby of S.H.I.E.L.D HQ. _Oh god he's here_ she thought. Nervousness coursed through her body as she shut down the screens and cleared her throat, earning the attention of the agents around the table.

"Agent Rogers has arrived," she announced.

The agents stood from their chairs, pushing them in behind them as they stood with their hands behind their backs, shoulders straight. Natasha smiled at how well she'd taught them all since they'd joined, it was a worthwhile experience. As the door opened, Natasha felt her nerves heighten and falter as she kept her breathing steady. She'd never really been _this_ nervous in her life, but having Steve join their service was a very big deal. 

"Director Romanov, Agent Rogers is here to see you," the receptionist, Georgia Bowden spoke, appearing in the doorway.

"Let him in please, thank you Miss Bowden," Natasha replied, with a friendly smile.

Clint was back by Natasha's side, his arms behind his back also as the door swung fully open. Steve was taller than Natasha had expected and looked far different from his photograph. If anything he looked better in person with his short, neat blonde hair, sharp blue eyes, god-like physique and a small smile lighting up the room like sunshine. 

"Agent Rogers," Natasha spoke, clasping her hands in front of her. "It's an absolute honour to have you here on our team. I know that's strange coming from me as your Director, but I've read and heard so much about your past employment," she added. 

"Thank you Director Romanov, it's an honour to be joining you," Steve responded, closing the door behind him.

"Perhaps I should introduce you to everybody. This is my Assistant Director-" she stopped suddenly when Clint interrupted.

"And boyfriend," he interjected.

A few chuckles erupted in the room.

"Clint," Natasha scolded. 

"What?" Clint answered.

"Stop being jealous," she hissed.

"I'm not!" Clint protested. 

Natasha scowled.

"Okay, maybe I am, but have you seen him, he's like some guy you see on a fashion magazine," he grumbled.

"Save your gay fantasies for the safety of your own room Clint," Natasha retorted.

"You'll pay for that," the brunette huffed.

"As I was saying before I was interrupted so rudely. This is Agent Clint Barton, he will be your roommate for tonight and will also be staying with you at the S.H.I.E.L.D  apartment building in Albany. In separate apartments of course," the red head continued. "He's the Governor's bodyguard, but he also does some shifts watching the Governor's son when Tony Stark is not on duty. You'll meet him tomorrow morning," she explained. "I'll now introduce you to the nine agents who you can trust in for anything you need while you're here at S.H.I.EL.D headquarters. On your right is Agent Virginia 'Pepper' Potts, to your left is Agent Leo Fitz," she added.

Steve greeted the agents briefly with friendly handshakes and a warm smile as Natasha started to relax a little. 

"Next we have Agent Dorian Lambert and Agent Jemma Simmons," she introduced.

"Ah, bonjour," Steve greeted, with a grin, holding his hand out to Dorian.

The agents eyes lit up with surprise and joy.

"Bonjour Agent Rogers," he replied, shaking Steve's hand firmly, before the blonde moved to greet Jemma.

"Then we have Agent Peggy Carter and Agent Angelo Grillo, followed by Agent Misha Ivanov and Agent Isla Brauer," Natasha chimed.

Through the greetings she could hear a few exchanges of Italian, Russian and German greetings between Steve with Angelo, Misha and Isla. Before a very proper greeting from Peggy with her broad British accent. 

"He's like a walking dictionary," Clint whispered.

Natasha chuckled quietly.

"And lastly this is Agent Craig Henderson," she mused.

She couldn't help but laugh at the shocked look on Steve's face when Craig spoke with the broadest Scottish accent every possible, most likely broader than Fitz's. Steve greeted Clint with a firm handshake and then moved onto Natasha who gave him the widest grin she could manage.

"Thank you so much for having me here," he issued.

"We're glad to have you here," Natasha replied. "Shall I debrief you on your client?" she questioned.

"While I'm here that would probably be best," Steve replied.

"Great," Natasha answered, waving her hands over the screens again to bring them up in front of herself and Steve. 

Steve's eyes scanned over pictures and files, his face showing that or curiosity and focus. Natasha opened up a file to bring up a detailed summary of Bucky, his pictures spread out on a separate screen. 

"James Buchanan Barnes, or as his friends call him, Bucky, is twenty-five years of age and Governor Barnes' son. He's an only child, his mother passed away when he was fifteen which led to him getting into a lot of trouble with authorities and also us. Three years ago he joined the army and served for three years before leaving after a shoulder injury. Since he came back he's been suffering from PTSD, anxiety attacks and abnormal sleeping patterns. He sees a therapist every second Thursday who helps him with these issues so we believe he's on the mend," Natasha informed. "His current bodyguard is Tony Stark who has only spent about six months in Barnes' presence, but he seems to read the kid like a book. The last bodyguard was dismissed from his job and moved to a new department, but I am unable to tell you why, it's classified. Lately Barnes has been showing signs of anti-social behaviour, but it doesn't seem to stop him from going out to bars, clubs or parties at friends residences. His attitude is a little difficult to deal with and I _will_ warn you right now Steve, Bucky doesn't go down without a fight. He's quite cocky and he loves to stir the pot and make people's blood boil so I'd watch yourself," she warned. "Barnes will try to wrap you around his finger and try to get you to be a little too easy on him. He's a sweet kid, he really is, but there are some things about him that are just bitter. We aren't sure if he's trying to hide things, maybe he's putting himself behind a mask from his true self. But we know you'll be firm with him and won't take any of his shenanigans," she added. 

The blonde nodded curtly and scanned his eyes over the screens again.

"What duties will I be doing for him?" he asked.

"Clint and I have printed out papers for you with everything you need to know. When you choose to read it is completely up to you," Natasha answered.

"Perfect," Steve hummed.

"Alright, now I need to quickly debrief you on some people to watch out for. People who may be threats or simply people who might be using Barnes for their own enjoyment," Natasha issued.

"Fire away," Steve mused.

Natasha then opened up several different files, bringing each one up closer to get a better view,

"Pietro Maximoff, twenty-six, has a twin sister Wanda Maximoff. He lives near Albany and visits Barnes at the end of every week. There's been speculation or theories that he's offering Bucky some things that aren't helping him at all. But apparently himself and Bucky are friends, who have a sexual relationship as well, no strings attached and that gets Pietro away with being there. We can't pass judgement now until valid evidence has been found or Bucky himself makes a statement, but so far that hasn't been happening," she sighed, flicking to the next file. "Bruce Banner, he's been after the Governor's seat for _years_ now. He and Governor Barnes aren't on good terms, but when they meet at events and ceremonies, they seem to put their differences aside and greet each other. But because of Mr Banner's desire to be Governor, we can't help but take precautions," she continued, opening another file. "Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner's assistant. We don't see him often, or hear much about him, but he's on our list. On account of his past history as a weapons expert, we can't risk not keeping him on watch. He remains reserved sometimes, but when you catch his gaze, he really has this bloodthirsty look about him. But so far he's been a green light," she added. 

"I think I can handle the Maximoff kid. As for Mr Banner and Mr Odinson, I'll keep watch on them too, make sure I keep Mr Barnes protected," Steve quipped.

"Good, good. _Exactly_ what we need," Natasha chimed, opening the last file. "Grant Ward. He was Bucky's last bodyguard, but he's now a part of HYDRA who are another security service, they are ranked below us. Ward now works for Banner and we think he has a dislike, if not a hate, for both Governor Barnes and Bucky. He's highly trained, almost close to what you are Steve and he's a very, _very_ mysterious and complex person," she muttered.

"Noted," the blonde answered.

"We need you to do this job well Steve. Banner will stop at _nothing_ to get that seat. And he'll most likely rile Ward into it too and possibly Thor. But we've got eyes and ears where they least expect, so your job shouldn't be as full on as the others have been. You just have one job and that's to make sure you keep Bucky Barnes safe. Otherwise, you've not only got his father to deal with, but also us for screwing up. If you need anything, please call me and I'll help you. Good luck," Natasha soothed.

"Thank you Director Romanov," Steve replied, with a small smile.

"Clint can take you to your room now and you can read the tasks and responsibilities if you like. Dinner is served between 6pm and 8pm, but you can go out and buy your own as long as you carry S.H.I.E.L.D ID to get back in," she offered.

Steve only nodded and offered a small nod to the other agents before Clint escorted him out of the room. He didn't know what to say, or what to do really. The blonde had only a few questions to ask Clint, but didn't know how to word them. He was going to be protecting the Governor's son, and while he'd done higher risk jobs than this, he wasn't sure how he would handle Barnes if he was some out of control young adult who acted like a child. Steve let out a sigh and it earned the attention of Clint, who locked his gaze on Steve.

"You have questions," he murmured.

"I-I suppose so," Steve huffed out.

"Why don't you start at the beginning," Clint offered.

And so he did, all the way to their room on the sixth floor, but Clint answered the questions truthfully. While the room wasn't much, Steve didn't mind, he would only be there for a night. Clint left him alone afterwards and Steve found himself staring out the floor to ceiling window, the streets busy with cars and passersby. His new start in a new job would begin in twenty four hours time, the hours ticking by slowly. But it was going to become a lot harder than Steve ever imagined, he'd come to realise just _how much_ of a handful Bucky Barnes truly was. It certainly wasn't going to be an easy ride either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some research before I started writing this and I did find out that Pietro and Wanda were from a fictional country called Transia in the comics, so I've used it here. And considering I did research what languages they may have used I kept getting different things every time so I just decided to go with Serbian from the signs in Age of Ultron and because Transia was said to border Romania I went with that also. I hope you enjoy, I know it's a very long prologue but it was needed I suppose.
> 
> Also Русский Стандарт is Russian Standard  
> and  
> Столи́чная is Stolichnaya


	3. Chapter One - Bucky’s Mission Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both." - Niccolo Machiavelli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky's first meeting doesn't go so well in this chapter. We see Bucky doing something he hasn't done before. He and Pietro get a little handsy and it finishes off with Steve and Bucky actually being civil.

 

**_Bethlehem, NY_**

**_May 13th 2015_**

Of all the places for a car to get a flat tyre, it just happened to be twenty minutes outside of Albany. Clint and Steve made a stop in the town Bethlehem when Clint heard the strange noise from the front left tyre. He stepped out of the car and sighed, kicking the wheel in frustration. Steve only watched on, slightly amused by the tantrum that Clint seemed to be having.

"There must be a repair shop here surely," the blonde spoke.

"Well it'd be a sin not to have one," Clint replied.

Steve snorted and shook his head as he wandered over to Clint and crouched down to look at the tyre. He let out a whistle and ran his fingers over the tear.

"You must have run over something pretty big because there's a pretty huge tear in it," he commented.

"Alright new guy, you don't need to hound me for it," Clint groaned. "Must be a repair place not too far from here," he added.

The brunette scanned his eyes around the area, before freezing when he looked to his left.

"You've got to be kidding me," he sighed.

This gained Steve's attention as he looked over at a man approaching them. He didn't realise who it was until he saw the salt and pepper coloured hair, his face all to familiar to that of-

"Pietro Maximoff," Steve whispered, standing up from his crouched position.

"Hello Hawkguy, you seem to be in a spot of trouble no?" he spoke.

"For the record, it's Hawkeye and what would you know about fixing a flat tyre?" Clint questioned.

Pietro grinned and pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

"I work in a repair shop...for _cars_ ," he answered, sarcastically.

Clint scowled.

"Don't be smart with me kid," he huffed.

The younger man's gaze turned to Steve and he gave him a once over, before his smile grew a great bit wider.

"Who's the new guy?" he queried.

"Steve Rogers. Or Agent Rogers to you I think," the blonde replied, abruptly.

"Oh I don't need to call you that," Pietro hummed. "Only the Governor does that," he continued.

"Not even Governor Barnes' son?" Steve asked.

"Why is Bucky an interest to you?" Pietro mused.

"Because he's his new bodyguard, now can you help us out or not Pietro? I don't have time to mope around here," Clint grunted.

Pietro looked between the pair, arms crossed over his chest. He sighed and rolled his eyes, before walking around the SUV to examine the flat tyre.

"I can fix it, have you out of here in half an hour, or less. You can go to the cafe or something while you wait," he explained.

Steve and Clint exchanged glances, before they nodded briefly and turned away from Pietro.

"This is _not_ going to go down well with Natasha," Clint mused.

"So you and Natasha-" Steve paused. "Sorry, had to ask, you two seem pretty close," he added, seeing the frown cross Clint's face.

"We're a couple, if that's what you mean. And you know Agent Henderson that you met?" he questioned.

"Yes," the blonde responded.

"Well, Tony Stark, who you'll meet today, those two are a thing," the brunette issued.

"No kidding," Steve chuckled.

"Yeah, I think it's the accent. They're a little bit _too_ public with their affection sometimes," Clint replied, screwing up his face.

Steve barked a laugh and tucked his hands inside his pockets as they kept walking down the road to the nearest cafe. He still had all of his duties to read, but he had them scanned to put them into documents on a tablet, which sat in the pocket of his suit jacket.

"So what can you tell me about Barnes? Since you've dealt with him face to face," he quizzed, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Well, there's not much really. He gets snappy around new people so I'd be prepared for that. He tends to have trouble waking up at a decent hour in the morning, so sometimes you need to go in and just give him a bit of a rough up. Tony and I just poke him until he wakes up. He's a good kid, he's just picking poor choices in his life. Still has nightmares on occasion, so when Pietro isn't there you have to go in and make sure he wakes up. Can't have him screaming the place down. Just, try not to barge in too often when he has Pietro there. First time Stark barged in those two were going at it like rabbits and I think Stark is scarred for life. I had to sit for at least an hour trying to get him to stop staring wide eyed at wall over my shoulder," Clint explained.

"Oh," Steve breathed out. "I'll keep that in mind," he added.

"Oh and when he's drunk, he gets a bit flirtatious. He flirts with anything, so I'd stay out of his path. Last time I found Barnes drunk he was hitting on a pool cue," the brunette mused.

Steve actually laughed so loud it echoed down the road, his eyes widening in horror. _Calm down Rogers it wasn't that funny_ he thought.

"He dislikes me every time I bring it up," Clint snickered.

"So you get along well with him?" Steve asked.

"I let him relax a little more when he's at the mansion. I don't want him to feel like he's in a prison. But Stark usually wants to keep him in order 24/7, but he's only known him for four months. I've known the kids for a few years," Clint replied. "But seriously, sometimes you can't let him away with things. He needs to be protected all the time and I mean it. The kid is loved and Governor Barnes will probably have you fired in a millisecond if you ever hurt Barnes, or screw up your duties. Barnes doesn't respond well to conflict either. We're not necessarily good friends with him, it's not allowed, but you can talk to him, get to know him. As for being a comfort blanket for him, it's a red flag," he continued.

"Why would anybody want to hurt him?" the blonde questioned.

"Anybody could, and anybody will if we don't watch out for him," Clint issued.

"Noted," Steve answered, nodding his head briefly.

They stopped outside a cafe and sat down at a table, picking up the laminated menus. Steve was still full from breakfast so he moved his gaze over to the drinks section, settling for a coffee. He'd skipped out on a coffee that morning and regretted it because he needed a kick to wake himself up.

"You want anything Rogers?" Clint questioned.

"I can get it," Steve offered.

"Oh no, it's on me seriously," Clint replied.

"Uh, alright...I'll just take a coffee. Long black with an extra shot and two sugars," the blonde answered.

"Shit, that bad of a sleep huh?" the brunette teased.

"Yeah, you could say that," Steve mused.

Clint grinned and stood up from his seat, pulling out his wallet. He gave Steve that _'be back in a minute'_ look, before disappearing inside. Steve lent back in his chair and looked up at the TV sitting outside, placed up on the wall, smiling slightly. He could see it stuck on the music station and saw a music video for a nineties pop song. The blonde would be lying to himself if he didn't say he enjoyed some of the old pop songs that used to play at parties and on the radio in the nineties. He didn't have much of a love for any music nowadays, his tastes spanned from all the way back to the forties to the end of the nineties. During workouts or down time, Steve would always listen to his favourites in privacy. To say the song _'Blue'_ by Eiffel 65 that was playing at that moment was a guilty pleasure song was an insult to Steve.

"So you like that song huh?" Clint interrupted, startling Steve.

"There's nothing wrong about the nineties music," the blonde protested.

"Didn't say there was, just don't tell Barnes or he might want to take you barn dancing with Cotton Eyed Joe playing or want you to go clubbing where they play all the eighties, nineties stuff," Clint chortled.

Steve raised an eyebrow.

"I was joking, but the kids likes all that stuff, he's very...I dunno' he likes a variety of things," Clint mused.

"I doubt that will ever happen. I'm not here to be the Governor's son's friend or wingman," Steve hummed.

Clint held back what he was going to say next, feeling it best to not breath a word of his different opinion. Bucky had grown to make a few friends besides Pietro, even if they were just his bodyguards. But they did keep the friendship to its limits. _I hope Natasha made the right decision about this guy. I don't want him causing Bucky anymore trouble_ Clint thought. Clint himself had called himself a friend to Bucky, Tony too. But they never ever overstepped their boundaries, and even if Bucky desperately needed someone to talk to, they weren't allowed to offer comfort. It was either Pietro, who only visited at the end of the week, or when Bucky saw Sam every second Thursday who were allowed. Speaking of which-

"Uh, just to let you know, you'll be the one taking Barnes to his therapy session tomorrow, 9am sharp," Clint commented.

"Fine by me," Steve answered, casually.

_God, how the hell does he do that?_ Clint thought.

"I'm curious," Steve spoke.

"What? Curious about Barnes still or?" the brunette joked, smirking coyly.

"Funny, but no. You call him Barnes, but from my brief talk with Natasha this morning, he goes by a code name when you address him," the blonde explained.

"Well-um-" Clint paused.

Steve raised his eyebrow for what felt like the fifth time that morning.

"We don't really use _Winter_ unless we're out at a venue when we use our comms. Barnes is just for times like now or when I'm around Natasha. On the odd occasion we say it to him, but that's rare, mostly it's sir, or kid which I call him a lot," Clint murmured.

"I think I'll address him by Winter, as Director Romanov stated," Steve mumbled.

"Whatever floats your boat man," Clint sighed.

The blonde pulled out his tablet just as his and Clint's coffee arrived, along with a piece of chocolate mud cake.

"Feel free to have a bit if you want," the brunette offered.

But Steve simply declined, kindly of course as he opened up some files. He searched for his documents on his tasks and basic notes, opening them up on the screen. The list wasn't as long as some of the others he'd been given in his line of work. But it was enough to be a bit of a handful for Steve. _So much for this not being so full on_ he thought. Yet Bucky was clearly cared for and he'd do everything stated on the sheets to make sure he didn't end his career in two shakes of a lamb's tail. While Steve listened to Clint yammer on about Pietro and god knows what else, he looked over the duties and read them carefully, one, by _one_.

**Official Duties/Rules For Winter (James Buchanan Barnes):**

_1\. Winter **must** have a bodyguard present with him at all times unless sleeping, showering etc is initiated. _

_2\. Winter's curfew is **midnight** on the dot._

_3\. Winter **must** be safely escorted to and from vehicles when leaving the mansion, arriving at the mansion, leaving venues and arriving at venues. _

_4\. Venues **must** be searched before Winter is allowed to enter. _

_5\. Vehicles not a part of the Governor's convoy, **must** be searched for weapons or anything that may pose a threat to Winter. _

_6\. Winter **must** approve his visitors first before they are allowed to enter the mansion._

_7\. Winter **must** be watched at all times during events, ceremonies or any other activities he participates in. _

_8\. Winter **must** be taken to therapy every second Thursday and bodyguards must wait outside the room._

_9\. Winter's alcohol consumption should be counted, and **must** not exceed over five drinks._

_10\. Winter is **not** permitted to attend parties alone, a bodyguard has to be present. _

_11\. Should a threat be eminent, Winter **must** be escorted to safety. He is the number one priority._

_12\. Bodyguards should be **willing** to protect Winter even if it results in injury and/or death. _

_13\. When sleeping, Winter **must** be checked every three hours for security purposes._

_14\. Winter's balcony doors and windows **must** be closed and secured before he is permitted to sleep._

_15\. Bodyguards **must** give updates at the end of each shift._

_16\. Only use firearms **if** threats are armed and dangerous._

"That's a mouthful," Steve muttered.

He continued to read and moved his gaze down to another list. It was basically a list of restrictions between bodyguard and client. Steve knew the drill, but read them anyway.

**Restrictions:**

_1. **Do not** pursue a romantic relationship with Winter._

_2. **Do not** give in to Winter's big demands such as; staying out after curfew, going to places alone etc. _

_3. **Do not** console or comfort Winter during an episode of PTSD or anxiety, escort him to Governor Barnes immediately._

_4. **Do not** have sexual relations with Winter._

_5. **Do not** touch Winter unless necessary such as; getting him out of bed, escorting him to and from vehicles or protecting him from threats._

_6. **Do not** bond with Winter in a way that will distract you from your duties._

_7. **Do not** bribe Winter to make him do things._

_8. **Do not** supply Winter with alcohol out of your own pocket._

_9. **No drinking** on the job._

_10. **Do not** take Winter out of the mansion unless it is cleared by Governor Barnes, Director Romanov or another bodyguard._

_11. **Do not** threaten Winter under an circumstances._

"Pursue a romantic relationship with Winter. Why would anybody do that?" Steve scoffed.

Clint tilted his head up from the newspaper that he was reading and frowned.

"That only came into play after his last bodyguard," he issued.

"I thought only Governor Barnes, Winter and Director Romanov knew why?" Steve mused.

"They do," Clint muttered. "But Natasha stays true to her word, she lied to me I know it. But I just heard that the last guy tried to make a move on Barnes and that's forbidden in our code," he added.

"He's got Pietro anyway I can understand why," Steve replied.

"Those two aren't-" Clint stopped.

"Hey you two bozos! Your tyre is fixed!" a voice exclaimed.

The pair jumped, only to scowl when Pietro wandered over with a smug grin. Steve got all kinds of bad vibes off of him.

"It didn't take as long as I thought," he continued.

"Thanks kid, how much do I owe you?" Clint asked.

"How much do you owe him?" Steve questioned.

"What? You think I was gonna' get a free repair? The kid works hard for his money y'know," Clint protested.

Pietro grinned again.

"I give him a week," he murmured, glancing at Steve.

Steve narrowed his eyes at the younger man and clenched his jaw. He really didn't like Pietro right now.

"You can buy my lunch as payment," Pietro mused.

"Sure, c'mon 'cause Steve and I will need to get going," Clint issued.

"See you around, _Steve_ ," Pietro hummed.

The blonde watched the pair disappear into the cafe again, before turning his attention back to his tablet. He pulled up pictures of Bucky before and after he came back from Afghanistan. Steve could see the differences, the way his after photo smiles seemed to be faked. He saw the pain, the distress and the guilt. Maybe he did sympathise for Bucky just a little, he'd clearly dealt with a lot of grief and so on.

"Poor kid," he sighed.

And here Bucky was making poor life choices over good ones. It only made Steve wonder why. _Why would Bucky pick that path?_ As he looked at the photographs he found those steely blue-grey eyes staring back at him. This only unsettled Steve, but sparked something unknown deep under his skin.

* * *

_**Albany, NY** _

_**May 13th 2015** _

Bucky found himself lounging in the pool that morning. It was nearing 11am but Bucky didn't have many plans anyway. When Pietro wasn't visiting, Bucky got bored easily. But they had almost everything at the mansion, it just wasn't enough for Bucky. He felt the inflatable move at each small wave of the water, his hand left bobbing in and out of it. The sun was warm on his skin as his other hand rested on his torso, fingers dancing in lazy circles. Bucky's eyes fluttered closed behind his dark sunglasses as he hummed quietly. He was allowed to swim in the pool without a bodyguard standing right by the edge. Tony was inside but could see Bucky through the clear glass doors in case anything happened. Plus, the backyard was surrounded by trees so nobody could really tell where Bucky was in the mansion. He was just about to doze off when he heard the doors swing open. _Oh great here we go. Time to get out sir, it's time for lunch_ he thought, pulling a face. Tony snorted and juggled the pool ball he had in his hands, looking straight at the brunette.

"Sir, you need to come inside now," Tony spoke.

"If it's for lunch, I'm not hungry. I'll get something later," Bucky muttered.

"It's actually something else sir," Tony mused.

"Oh?" the brunette answered.

This seemed to peak Bucky's interest.

"Come on," Tony ushered.

Bucky frowned.

"Ten more minutes," he huffed.

"Sorry, no can do," Tony replied.

"You can't stop me," Bucky protested.

Tony rolled his eyes and suddenly flung the ball at Bucky. The brunette yelled in surprise which knocked off his balance, sending him tumbling into the pool. Tony started cackling with laughter, slapping his hands on his knees as Bucky resurfaced.

"I hate you, you're cruel," he huffed.

There would be certain days where Bucky wouldn't go near the pool, having flashbacks of his one attempt to end everything. Other days, like today, he was lucky to get a few hours of swimming or relaxing in it before deciding that it was enough. Tony held a towel out and Bucky smiled slightly, swimming over to the edge.

"You're still not forgiven," he crowed.

"I'll take you out for ice cream," Tony offered.

"Wow bribery. But isn't that against your duties?" Bucky asked.

"Sir, I know I'm harsh with you sometimes. But a frickin' ice cream won't hurt you," Tony grumbled.

"Jerk," Bucky chided. "But I guess you have a point," he added. "Is Clint here?" he questioned.

"Yes, but last time I saw him he was around your dad," Tony answered.

"Of course he is. So I'm eating lunch alone again huh?" Bucky queried.

"Not really," Tony replied.

"That doesn't help me," Bucky muttered, pushing himself up on the edge.

He took the towel and ruffled his hair up, making Tony chuckle again, his hair spiking out everywhere. Bucky tied the towel around his waist and wiped the excess water off his arms and shoulders.

"So what's so important that I had to have my pool time interrupted?" he hummed.

"Follow me sir, you'll see," Tony mused.

"Still hate the sir thing," Bucky grunted.

"I only say it in case someone else is listening," the brunette issued, opening the door for Bucky.

"It's still annoying. Even if you just called be James or Barnes I'd be fine with that. You don't gotta' call me Bucky," he sighed.

"We'll see," Tony replied.

They were walking down the main hallway when Bucky heard voices down at the end, one being Clint's and the other he didn't recognise. Bucky's hand rested on his hip, holding the towel up as Tony led him down the hallway. They didn't turn in any other direction after that and Bucky started to feel a little paranoid.

"Tony went to get him I think," a soft voice spoke.

_Who the fuck?_ Bucky thought.

"Might take him a while, Barnes loves that pool most days," Clint replied.

"Actually, he's right here," Tony interjected, making their presence known.

Bucky's gaze immediately fell on the blonde who was standing across from Clint. _Oh hello_ he thought, grinning slightly.

"What is this? Like a late birthday present or something?" he joked.

Steve's brow creased as he stared at Bucky, his lips set into a thin line. But then Bucky's eyes caught on to the blonde's suit and his grin fell. He's another one of them he thought.

"Sir, this is Steve Rogers, or Agent Rogers," Clint introduced.

"And Agent Fourteen also," Steve interrupted.

"That also," Clint mused.

Bucky's eyes fell from Steve's as he looked down at the floor, his damp hair hair falling over his forehead. He felt the anger boil up inside him, his grip tightening on his towel. More change, he hated it. Tony saw the change in his posture and looked somewhat fearful for what was about to come next. Bucky caved in then.

"So I've got another babysitter?" he scoffed.

"Babysitting a twenty-five year old isn't in my duties, sir," Steve replied.

"I wasn't fucking talking to you," Bucky spat.

"Barnes," Clint hissed.

"You did imply my presence though," Steve issued.

"Who the fuck is this guy? Why do I need another one? I'm fine with you and Tony!" the brunette exclaimed, pointing his finger at Tony beside him.

"Because I can't always look out for you kid. I'm mainly your dad's bodyguard," Clint replied.

"And I'm going to be getting breaks from duty now so I won't be around all the time either," Tony added.

"Are you kidding me! So you get some new guy who is twice the size of you two because you think that will be best? I don't need anyone else! In fact, I don't need anyone! I hate this! I hate these curfews! I hate being disturbed when I want to relax! I hate everything about this shithole! Bucky roared.

"Kid-" Clint paused, stepping forward.

"Just stop! You'll never give me space! You say you do but I know you're just lying! Fuck you, all three of you! But most of all you _Steve_ , I can just get you fired in a week, you won't last long!" the brunette yelled.

_The nerve of this kid_ Steve thought.

"That's enough!" he snapped, stepping forward.

"Steve," Clint warned.

"I don't know what your problem is Mr Barnes, but I'm just here to do my job. I've served as security for the Queen and the President. I also did undercover work in The Caribbean and I've done field work in Europe. Governor Barnes personally asked for S.H.I.E.L.D to bring me in to protect _you_. Now I'd say that you're truly cared for. You were born in a family where politics was in the blood. And I'm sorry you need to be ' _trapped'_ in here. But there's nothing you can do about it. I don't take orders from you, I take orders from S.H.I.E.L.D. Are we clear?" Steve continued, eyes narrowing.

Bucky's nostrils flared as he clenched his jaw, eyes locked on Steve.

"You can kiss my fuckin' ass pal! Good for you, you served Her Majesty! _Whoop-de-fucking-do!_ Do you think I care? I'm twenty-five, trapped like a caged animal! As far as everyone is concerned, I'm better off dead!" he screamed.

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but stopped, seeing the distraught look on Bucky's face. The brunette turned away and fled for the stairs to where his room was. He could hear Tony calling his name, but he ignored him, his heartbeat drumming in his ears. Bucky staggered to the suit and flung the door open, before slamming it and locking it. He dropped to the floor and let out a shaky breath, raking his fingers through his hair. Bucky choked out a sob as he buried his head into his chest, arms falling to his knees. Nothing had ever been smooth sailing since he got back from Afghanistan. Hell, it hadn't been easy since his mother passed away. It would be eleven years in July since she passed and each year didn't get any easier. He remembers her last words as if it were yesterday.

_"Don't give up on your dreams my darling boy,"_

He'd never had any dreams to accomplish, not in a long time anyway. There was that one dream when he was thirteen, to be a firefighter, to save people. Then when he was fourteen, he wanted to be a dancer, he loved wanting to dance to oldies jazz. He never did learn how to dance...he wanted to.

_"How can you save others...when you can't even save yourself?"_

The voice haunted him day in, day out, so Bucky let of those dreams. Now this was where he was. The brunette swallowed the lump in his throat as he shakily stood up, hands pressed to the door. _I gotta' get outta' here_ he thought. His gaze fell on his bag by his bed, remembering he still had some clothes packed in there. Bucky pulled to towel off his waist and threw it to the side as he rushed to his walk in wardrobe. The brunette grabbed a bulky jacket, a cap and a pair of sunglasses to go with his shirt and jeans. He kicked his combat boots out from under a shelf, snatching up some briefs and socks too. Bucky was quick in getting rid of his shorts, scrambling into the other clothing. His combat boots took most of his time up because of the laces, but he managed. The adrenaline was coursing through him rapidly, he'd never done nor thought about this before. I'm so screwed he thought. But in his mind he also thought it would be _totally_ worth it.

"He's never acted like this angry before," a voice spoke, echoing up the stairs.

"Shit, shit, shit," Bucky chanted.

He shoved the cap on and slipped the sunglasses over his eyes, before grabbing his phone, wallet, iPod, cigarettes and bag. Bucky went into the bathroom and opened the cabinet above the sink, grabbing a bag with white powder hidden behind bottles of medication and bath products. The brunette carefully tipped some on his hand, before bowing his head and snorting the substance up his nose. Bucky groaned in relief, putting it back as he wiped the excess off and washed his hands. His balcony doors were wide open and Bucky grabbed the thick bedsheets off the bed. Luckily for him, there were no windows under his balcony in the rooms below, so he could slide down without being noticed by anyone else wandering in the mansion. Having an enormous bed with enormous sheets had its perks apparently as they stopped just a few inches from the ground, so there wasn't much of a drop for Bucky. After tying it securely, he steadily climbed over the railing. And of course his escape wouldn't be complete without him humming the _Mission Impossible_ theme as he slid down. Bucky tried to stop himself from cheering loudly when he touched the ground.

"Freedom!" he cheered, quietly.

At that moment, Steve and Tony were reaching the top of the stairs. They tried the door and Steve frowned when it didn't budge.

"Sir?" he called, knocking on the door.

Silence drew out as he stole a glance at Tony.

"That doesn't sound promising," he muttered.

He reached into the pockets of his suit pants and fished out an old credit card. He'd done this trick a million times before as he shimmied the card down near the locked part of the door. It clicked immediately and Steve pushed the door open, only to find the suite empty.

"Bucky!" Tony yelled, using his actual name just that one time out of concern.

Steve looked over to the balcony doors and darted over to them, eyes wide. He caught a glimpse of the bedsheets and then looked over the railing. The blonde clocked Bucky sprinting up the lawn, before disappearing into some trees.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed, pushing away from the railing.

Tony was close behind him as Steve turned on his comm that he had been given from Clint.

"Agent Barton, we have a rogue Winter! Repeat, Winter is on the run!" he barked.

Before too long, himself, Tony and Clint were racing down to the SUV's parked in the carports. Steve was fuming, he couldn't believe this was his first day and Bucky was making a run for it, and causing panic to pump through his veins. He was desperately hoping they found Bucky before it turned serious.

* * *

_**Bethlehem, NY** _

_**May 13th 2015** _

When Bucky had reached Bethlehem it was late afternoon. He'd hitched a ride on a bus, but the route only took him so far, before he had to walk the rest of the way. His boots crunched against some stones and dead leaves as he made his way over to the repair shop Pietro worked at. He knew Pietro's house was behind it, up a stone pathway, his friend had told him one time, said he was welcome any time. Although, that offer was only allowed if he was with a bodyguard, and here Bucky was, alone... _vulnerable_. He had joked to Bucky about visiting him alone once, Bucky was now taking him up on that. Bucky couldn't wait to see the look on Pietro's face. He wandered around the back of the closed shop, knowing that it closed early on weekends, his gaze falling on the house up ahead. The brunette sauntered up there, swing in his stride, shoes now crunching on stray pieces of rubbish carelessly thrown to the side.

"Again Bucky, you are so dead," he spoke, quietly chuckling to himself.

Bucky bounded up the stairs to the porch, pulling one of his hands from his pockets as he knocked on the door, twice.

"Just a minute!" Pietro's voice called.

The brunette loved the sound of his voice, that rich accent sounded like honey. No wonder it soothed Bucky so much whenever he had a nightmare and Pietro was there. He pursed his lips and chewed the inside of his cheek, hands tapping against his thighs. When he heard the click of a lock, he looked up and smiled, pulling his cap and sunglasses off.

"Bucky?" Pietro questioned.

"Boo," Bucky jeered, with a laugh following afterwards.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Pietro asked, stepping onto the porch.

"Long story, sorta'...can I come in?" Bucky questioned.

"Where's Clint or Tony...or that new guy, Steve?" Pietro queried.

Bucky frowned.

"You know him? And I came here alone. I escaped the mansion," he replied.

Pietro's expression changed from confusion to anger within seconds as he grabbed Bucky's jacket sleeve and pulled him inside. He slapped the brunette on the back of the head and Bucky grumbled irritably, rubbing his head.

"глупый!" _Stupid!_ Pietro scolded. "какого черта!" _What the hell!_ he yelled.

"извините," _Sorry_ Bucky answered.

"You should be! They will be looking for you! You idiot," Pietro grumbled.

"They got me a new bodyguard okay! Steve! He thinks he's the best thing on Earth because he served as a bodyguard for the Queen and the President! I don't like him, I had to get away!" the brunette yelled.

"Clint's car got a flat tyre so I fixed it for him because they stopped off here. I met Steve. He wasn't very nice, seemed snarky. But I hardly know him, I cannot judge. You never judge a book by its cover micuţo," _Little one_ Pietro mused.

"You need to stop calling me that котенок," _Kitten_ Bucky huffed.

"Pot, kettle, black," Pietro retorted.

Bucky sighed and dumped his bag on the floor, running his hands down his face. He was beyond exhausted at that point. Pietro bit his lip anxiously and looked back at Bucky.

"I have to call one of them. You will end up having the police looking for you. This is serious," he issued.

"No, don't," Bucky protested.

"Bucky, I'm sorry, but I can't have you here where you and I could get into serious trouble," Pietro replied, pulling his phone out.

The brunette grabbed Pietro's wrist and held his free hand away from his phone. He had a pleading look in his eyes and Pietro frowned slightly. Bucky didn't want to be found, at least not yet.

"Please," he begged.

"Bucky..." Pietro whispered.

Bucky's lips pressed to Pietro's wrist, eyelids dipped as he glanced at his friend from under his lashes. He seemed to rely on Pietro too much. It was beginning to become a habit, missing his friend, needing the support everyday instead of just every Friday. He reached for Pietro's phone and grabbed it, sitting it to the side. The brunette ran his hands up to Pietro's jaw, cupping it gently in his hands. If anything, he had his way with words too and being a convincing little shit as well.

"Please Pietro. пожалуйста," _Please_ he murmured, thumbs brushing the older man's jaw.

"You are like a puppy, like it has been kicked out in the rain. Such a drama queen," Pietro huffed.

Bucky snickered.

"You like me that way," he hummed.

"I might," Pietro mumbled, leaning into the touch. "You rely on me _too_ much, you have to surround yourself with others," he added.

"I would if I was allowed anywhere. I'm trapped there like a puppy," Bucky grumbled, pulling an over-dramatic puppy face.

"Drama queen," Pietro scoffed.

"So you won't call anyone?" he asked.

"No," Pietro soothed. "Not yet," he added.

"That sounds promising," Bucky crowed.

" _You_ think so," Pietro sassed.

The brunette crashed his lips to Pietro's to shut him up, groaning when Pietro's hands were immediately on his hips, squeezing gently. Bucky just loved getting straight down to business, no strings attached was probably a good thing in his world. No emotions or worries to pull him down. Although, he did falter a few times when he got upset, which then had him getting affection from Pietro to sooth and reassure him. He was pressed against the nearest wall, fingers tangling into Pietro's hair as he let out a sharp gasp.

"You will be in so much trouble, медведь," _Bear_ he whispered.

"Y'know, pet names really kill the mood Maximoff," Bucky huffed.

Pietro grinned and ran his hands under Bucky's shirt and jacket, making him shiver as Bucky pulled the zipper on his jacket. He shrugged it off and curled his fingers through Pietro's hair again, biting on his lip.

"You're feisty today," Pietro commented, hands roaming down to the brunette's thighs.

"We weren't really finished yesterday," Bucky breathed out, smiling against Pietro's lips that were just brushing his.

Bucky was suddenly hoisted up, pressed firmly against the wall, letting out a small, breathy laugh. Pietro nudged his chin up and kissed down the brunette's neck, nipping his skin playfully.

"God, I wish you visited more often. Can't feel as much pleasure with just my hand and fingers when you're gone," Bucky gasped, fingers curling into the fabric of the older man's shirt.

"You fucking tease. If I didn't work at the repair shop so much I would visit you everyday," Pietro purred, biting down on Bucky's skin.

The brunette moaned sweetly and threw his head back against the wall.

"Fuck- _ah_. Need you," he choked out.

A sudden, loud banging noise echoed inside the house as Bucky and Pietro froze.

"Open the door Maximoff!" a voice yelled.

"Is that-" Pietro paused.

"Steve," Bucky answered.

Pietro let go of Bucky's thighs as the brunette slid down the wall. Bucky's gaze fell on the front door as he swallowed the growing lump in his throat. The banging began again and Pietro turned to the door.

"Pietro, please tell them I'm not here," Bucky hissed.

"I shouldn't," Pietro soothed.

"Please, you said you wouldn't do anything," Bucky pleaded.

"Pietro!" Steve exclaimed.

His eyes fell on the door again, before going back to Bucky who looked like a startled goat.

"Fine, but you better hide yourself well, idiot," Pietro huffed.

Bucky was off in a second as Pietro walked to the door and opened it. Steve was standing on the porch with Clint and Tony beside him, who had dread and worry stricken over their faces.

"Where is he?" Steve snapped.

"Who?" Pietro asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Don't play dumb pal. There's only one place James Barnes would run to and it's here," Steve issued.

"His name is Bucky," Pietro bit back.

"His friends call him that, I am _not_ his friend," Steve muttered.

"You could try to be, he doesn't have enough friends. He _only_ has me. But, I don't know where he is," Pietro answered.

"So you won't mind if we come in and look to be sure?" Tony questioned.

"By all means, see for yourselves," Pietro offered, standing to the side.

The three of them walked into the house, leaving Pietro in the open doorway. He heard a whistle and turned his head to see Bucky poking his head out from an old vintage trunk that they had on the porch. Pietro held back his laughter as he waved Bucky away, mouthing a _'stay there'_ at him. Although, he wondered how Bucky got there, most likely he ran around the side of the house and hopped in when Steve, Clint and Tony came inside. He could hear doors being opened and then slammed closed, before hushed whispers were exchanged.

"He must have known we'd come here first," Clint spoke.

"The kid isn't dumb y'know," Tony mused.

"Yeah? Well what he's doing right now is really dumb. Now we're finding him whether it takes us all night," Steve grunted.

They came wandering back through, giving the house another once over, before walking back to Pietro. He raised an eyebrow as if to ask _'well, did you find anything?'_ which only got him a hard scowl from Steve and head shakes from Clint and Tony.

"I hope you find him, he's very important to me," Pietro murmured.

"Sure he is," Steve scoffed, pushing past Pietro.

"Hey you have no idea! He's not going to like you very much if you act like that!" Pietro yelled.

"Hey," Clint whispered, resting his hand on Pietro's shoulder. "I wouldn't push him any further. He's just started and Barnes is missing and that wouldn't go down well with Director Romanov at S.H.I.E.L.D," he continued.

"I wish I could help but my sister is due back soon, I can't let her wait up. We have things to discuss," Pietro replied.

"We'll find him. See ya' around kid," Clint mused, dropping his hand.

Himself and Tony made their way down the stairs to catch up with Steve as Pietro disappeared back into the house. Clint sighed and ran his hand over his face slowly.

"I don't get it, he's never been this erratic before," Tony spoke.

"Well, wouldn't you hate it if you got a new bodyguard you've never met before? Or one you suddenly get after just getting used to one that's been around for six months? He's started getting used to us so he's relying on us and this has just been thrust in his face," Clint answered.

"I've been around him for just under seven months now, you've been there what? Two years?" Tony asked.

"Steve's on day one, and if you ask me, his methods seem to be different from ours. Maybe that's why it was so confronting for Barnes. I've never yelled at him, you haven't, Steve's the first one to do it and I think Barnes is just a little...conflicted," Clint muttered.

"If I'm honest, I don't think the yelling was needed," the brunette issued.

"I'd hate to tell Steve to tone it down, but I might have to. The kid has enough on his plate, gonna' be eleven years since Mrs Barnes passed away in next month, he's gotta' be having a tough time coming to grips with it. He never has gotten over it," Clint sighed.

"And he's got his dad's birthday this weekend coming," Tony added.

Their conversation died down as they approached Steve, seeing the bothered look on the blonde's face. He looked up when he saw Clint and Tony, before pulling out his phone.

"I'm not convinced that he's not here. So we're going to stay here and wait a little while. Surely they'll need to come out at some point," he explained.

"The kid will just run again, we searched the house, he isn't there," Tony commented.

Clint remained quiet, looking in the other direction as if he knew something.

"No he won't," Steve replied. "Because we're going to go get some help," he added.

Tony and Clint exchanged worried glances, but followed close behind Steve anyway. Steve took one SUV, while Clint and Tony took the other, following Steve. The blonde was furious, but a small part of him was worried.

"Agent Rogers, I need to tell you something," Clint spoke, through the comm.

"Lay it on me," Steve responded.

He'd stay out there all night if he had to.

* * *

"Hawkeye, what's your status?" Steve spoke, eyes fixed on Pietro's house.

They'd been waiting for hours and it had just hit 7pm now. Steve was stationed in an SUV around the corner from a gas station, while Clint and Tony were nearest the repair shop. Not only that, they had two cop cars nearby who were going to assist them. He'd hate having to do this, but he was going to have to herd Bucky in like a sheep. His hands were gripped on the steering wheel as he stared out at the dimly lit street. _I can't believe this is happening_ he thought. Clint had already informed Governor Barnes, who was at an important meeting away from the mansion. He wasn't angry, he was more so concerned for Bucky, and simply wanted him home in one piece no matter what it took.

"No sign of Winter yet," Clint replied.

"Lights are on but no sign of movement either, Captain," Tony added.

This was only his first day and he'd already gained a nickname. He looked up at the house, seeing the dull glow of lights, the shadows from the curtains making him think it was a person. Steve loosened his grip on the steering wheel, letting out a deep sigh. _What if I can't do this?_ he thought.

"Captain, we've got movement," Clint informed.

Steve turned his head, gaze falling on the house again. The silhouette was all too familiar to Bucky's and Steve's grip on the steering wheel tightened again.

"Don't make a move until I say so, but just signal to the officers that we've spotted him," he replied.

He kept his eyes fixed on the house as the light went out in the room Bucky was in. The door opened and sure enough, Bucky stepped outside, Pietro in tow, as well as a young woman. _Must be Wanda Maximoff_ Steve thought.

"Winter has left the venue and is making his way down here. Get ready to take immediate action," he ordered.

"Copy that," Tony answered.

Steve could hear the laughter circulating as the three were exchanging conversation in Romanian and Serbian. The blonde moved the SUV around the corner slightly, seeing Tony and Clint, as well as the cop cars. When the trio walked around the outside of the repair shop, Steve called it.

"On my mark," he whispered. "Five, four, three, two...one," he added.

The noises that echoed throughout the streets would have startled a majority of the locals. Tyres screeched and police sirens blared once or twice with the blue and red. Steve had the high beam on the SUV as he drove forward, sliding the car sideways so he could block Bucky's path. The brunette looked like a deer in the headlights as he froze in his spot. Steve stepped out of the SUV quickly and slammed the door shut.

"Do you think this is funny pulling a stunt like that?" he asked, bounding towards Bucky.

"And you just couldn't let go for a few hours?" Bucky retorted.

"Not when it's my job to protect you," Steve answered.

"I don't need protecting! I wanted out of there! I want to be here!" Bucky yelled.

"You put your life on the line to come ad visit Pietro! Now I'm sorry but you're the Governor's son and the orders that we get, we follow!" Steve exclaimed.

"You could at least cut me some slack! You're nothing like Tony, or Clint! You probably never will be! I hate it! I hate you!" Bucky roared.

"You don't even know me!" the blonde spat.

"Good, why the fuck would I!" the brunette screamed.

"Bucky..." Pietro interjected.

"What!" Bucky snapped, before closing his eyes as he clenched his fists. "Sorry...sorry," he whispered.

"I told Clint you were here, but I told him to come back later," Pietro replied.

Bucky's face fell as he turned to look at his friend. Hurt crossed his face as he shook his head. _He wouldn't_ he thought.

"But how?" he questioned.

Pietro sighed as he bit his lip, before looking up at Bucky.

"Clint is deaf Bucky. He had hearing aids but he knows sign language too. A while ago I learnt it, just in case I needed it for the foreseeable future. I signed to Clint and told him," he answered.

"So that's what all the hand gestures were about," Tony commented.

Pietro nodded.

"Then Steve was informed," Clint interjected.

"I'm sorry Bucky, but Wanda would have my head on a platter if I left it alone and didn't say anything," Pietro issued, looking back at his sister.

Bucky looked down at the ground, swallowing the lump in his throat as he shook his head. He'd never felt a small amount of betrayal before until now. Pietro who had his back, Pietro who would be sarcastic to Clint and Tony, Pietro who didn't give a fuck about rules. He was now Pietro who Bucky couldn't even look at.

"Of all the things Pietro, of all the things and you do this to me," he whispered.

"I only want you to be safe, micuţo," _Little one_ Pietro replied.

Bucky shook his head again, feeling his eyes start to sting.

"Please Bucky, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you," Pietro murmured.

He stepped forward and embraced the brunette, holding him tightly. Bucky's shoulders trembled and he found himself breaking down for god knows why. Pietro soothed him and rubbed small circles on his back, kissing his temple.

"I know it's hard, but one day you won't need all this. You can go wherever you want and we can travel, we can _do_ anything," he crooned.

"I still need you. Still need my best friend. It's hard to be in that mansion without anybody, I don't talk to my dad much," Bucky choked out.

"I am always with you," Pietro mumbled.

Bucky pulled away as Pietro cupped his face and kissed his forehead, before ducking his head and stealing a kiss on the lips. _For the love of god_ Steve thought, rolling his eyes.

"One for the road," Pietro soothed. "Be safe," he added.

"Idiot," Bucky huffed.

"Stupid," Pietro retorted.

The brunette smiled weakly, wiping away stray tears as Pietro stepped back. He felt Clint's hand on his shoulder, turning him to guide him to the SUV. Even though he was put in the SUV with Steve, he didn't protest this time. Bucky was giving up all over again.

* * *

_**Albany, NY** _

_**May 13th 2015** _

Guilt, it tripped Bucky's emotions to a higher level when it plagued him. He was sitting on his bed, legs crossed with a magazine resting on his lap, around the 10pm mark. On the journey home to Albany he suffered some flashbacks to Afghanistan.

_"Morita!"_

Bucky saw himself rushing to his friend, seeing the blood soaking his shirt, blood rising up his throat and out his mouth. The brunette's hands were shaking as he held his friend in his arms. They'd been hiding behind a makeshift barrier when Morita made a move to attack and copped a round of bullets to his stomach. There had been many deaths that month, but Morita's truly broke Bucky's heart. He'd been the one to keep Bucky absolutely sane through the bad days.

_"Barnes, it's okay, I knew this was gonna' happen,"_

_"No, no...don't say that, please,"_

_"Buck, we're in the middle of a war, we don't know when our time will be up,"_

_The gunfire still went on around him, the calls coming from Dugan who was their Captain at that time. Bucky's muscles were aching and he was sweating under his heavy clothing and armour, eyes stinging from the dust._

_"You need to hold on,"_

_"There's no point buddy, you gotta' let go,"_

Bucky remembered crying that day, still holding on Morita's lifeless body when he took his last breath. All the guilt occurred when he knew he should have been fighting, he should have kept going. But he couldn't leave a friend behind, couldn't leave a friend to die without being around a friend of his own.

_"When you get outta' here kid...make your life worth it,"_

And what a guilt trip that was. Here Bucky was, sitting in his room, feeling like shit with a packet of cocaine resting on his knee. It was not supposed to be this way he thought. Yet the more he did it, the more he craved for it. The more he rebelled, the better he felt. Bucky was feeling horrible for his aggression towards Steve now, but something didn't feel right about him. Maybe Bucky was way in over his head. _You gotta' give him a chance_ he thought. But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to abandon the idea of ever cutting Steve some slack. However, the very thought of knowing that Steve didn't exactly give up on finding him made his heart rate jump a few beats. He felt conflicted by his emotions. Bucky still felt the lingering betrayal by Pietro though. Then again, maybe Pietro feared he'd be charged for kidnapping or some weird crap like that. All in all, Pietro did it to protect him, so he said. Bucky closed his eyes as tears escaped, falling down his cheeks as he curled his fingers into the fabric of his sweatpants.

_"Everything will get better when you leave,"_

Bucky gasped, eyes snapping opened as he drew in a sharp, needy breath of air. He'd heard that voice taunt him one too many times. Mostly around the time of his suicide attempt, the day he just completely gave up on life, on himself, on everybody around him. If anything, that day he felt grateful for Tony being there, but also had that small part of him that wished Tony had never been there to save his life. He _promised_ Morita he'd do good with his life. What he didn't now wasn't good at all. Bucky covered his eyes with his hand as he choked out a sob, shoulders shaking. So many broken promises made him believe he would never fix them, or fix himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'M SORRY!" he yelled, throwing the empty bottle of vodka at the nearest wall.

The brunette cried weakly, throat tightening as he tried to swallow back the growing lump in his throat. His hands shook as he opened the bag of cocaine, spreading some on the magazine in a neat line. He lent down and did what he always did to calm himself, breathing in deeply as the powder peeled away from the magazine and up into Bucky's nose. His eyes fell closed as he sniffed it back, wiping his thumb under his nose. The adrenaline only grew as he lent down, inhaling more of his fix, eyes opening a fraction.

" _God_ ," he whispered, leaning his head back.

"Sir?" a voice called, through the door.

It wasn't Tony's, nor was it Clint's as he was attending to his father who was still at the meeting. That only left Steve. Bucky sighed as he put the magazine down under the bedside table and wandered to the bathroom to hide the bag, making sure there wasn't any around powder around his nose. When he walked back out he turned his TV on and sat down on the small sofa, body stretched out as he lent up on his elbow.

"Doors unlocked," he answered, finally.

The door creaked when it opened, most likely from the amount of times it had been slammed shut or kicked open. Bucky turned his attention to the door, noting Steve's presence as he stepped into the room. The blonde frowned slightly and blinked twice, letting go of the door handle.

"Do you need me to leave so you can _uh_ -put a shirt on?" he muttered.

Bucky snorted before covering his mouth with his hand.

"What? Never seen a guy with a shirt off before?" he replied.

Steve remained silent.

"Pretty sure I came out of the pool with no shirt and that wasn't a problem," he continued.

"No I-" Steve paused. "Sorry, I grew up finding it invasive to be in somebody's bedroom if they were hardly clothed," he added.

The brunette's right eyebrow raised in question as a small smile crossed his face.

"That's fucking hilarious," he chuckled.

Steve watched as laughter suddenly erupted inside Bucky, the sounds echoing off the walls as he fell on his back. The blonde had to hide the smile that tugged at his mouth. Somehow, the sound of laughter was like some kind of gift to Steve, it always had been. Bucky managed to calm himself after five whole minutes, straightening himself up as his eyes met Steve's again. He still had a small smirk on his face, fingers dancing over his wrist.

"So he does smile," he joked.

"Huh? Oh..." Steve breathed out.

_Fuck, I was actually smiling_ he thought.

"Steve? I can call you that right?" Bucky asked.

Usually Steve didn't allow it for clients, but what else was he supposed to go by?

"You can," he answered.

"Look, I-" the brunette paused. "I'm never great at this. Ever. But, I'm sorry for how I acted. I don't know what came over me. But I'm sure you know more about me than I do about myself," he continued, chewing on his lip. "Things are tough and I'm trying. Really. But some things I just can't get over quickly. You're right though, I don't even know you, I acted stupidly," he added.

Steve nodded slowly.

"I get it now, sort of. I need to work on my patience to see Pietro again. He's the only real friend I have. Since I got back from Afghanistan, he's kept me stable. I miss my friend from The Howling Commandos. I don't know what's happened to Dugan or Falsworth because when I left they stayed. Dernier left because of an injury but I don't know what happened to him. Morita died and Jones went missing. I swear I repeat myself all the time but...I'm only telling my story," Bucky explained.

He turned his gaze away from Steve and closed his eyes, feeling a new wave of tears. Bucky hated how his emotions flipped from one to the other unexpectedly. His fingers gripped the TV remote tighter as he took in a deep breath, before letting it out as he tried to calm himself.

"Basically, I'm sorry for treating you like shit when I hardly fucking know you. I just got used to having Tony around. Change, it agitates me, confuses me even," he mumbled.

"I understand," Steve replied.

"Do you?" Bucky questioned. "Do you really? If you say it's because of all the work you did, I'm gonna' have to call bullshit pal," he muttered.

The blonde closed the door behind him, before wandering over to the lounge chair across from the sofa. He gestured as if to ask _'may I?'_ to which he got a _'be my guest'_ gesture in return.

"During my field work in Europe I lost people who had a place in my heart. They were great people. But the one that hurt the most was our Director, Phil Coulson. He was like a father figure to a lot of us. I'm not saying what you went through didn't amount to that. If anything, yours is worse. I can't imagine what it would have felt like. So from all that I swore I would protect anybody with my damn life, no matter how well or how little I knew them. But I guess because a lot of the people I get close to die, I block myself out, I come across as stubborn. I suppose I'm sorry for that," Steve explained.

"Sorry for your loss," Bucky whispered.

"And yours," Steve responded.

Bucky smiled sadly as he looked down at the ground, his loose strands of hair falling across his forehead. He felt like he'd just taken a giant leap of faith confessing some things to Steve. Steve he hardly knew, Steve who seemed like a jerk but was actually hiding in a shell. _How could you be so stupid Bucky? How could you be so stupid, causing people so much grief just to be a brat? Just to try and prove a point that had no purpose_ he thought.

"What I'm saying here is...we don't need to get along. I don't need to be like Clint and Tony to you. But I will protect you. That's my job. If something happened it would be my fault and that's why tonight I wouldn't give up on the fact that you apparently weren't at Pietro's house. Because I just sort of knew you were there, feeling in my gut," Steve spoke. "I can be nice though. I guess I just take some things too seriously," he added.

"I've just never felt that people care, ever," Bucky answered.

"Pietro cares. So does your father. And I'm pretty damn sure Clint and Tony do," the blonde mused, standing up from the chair. "You better sleep," he continued, walking to the balcony doors as he closed and locked them, before checking all the windows. "I have to take you to your therapist tomorrow. I'll be outside, my shift isn't up until 1am," he added.

The brunette remained quiet as he watched Steve walk by with fluid strides in his step. He turned the TV off and heard the door creaking open again.

"What about you? Do you care?" he questioned.

Steve froze in the doorway, turning back to look at Bucky. In all honesty, he didn't know how to respond to that. That was a pretty big, and tough question to answer, especially coming from Bucky who made it sound agonising, like he _wanted_ Steve to say yes. Steve couldn't respond, so he turned away, dropped his hand from the door and let it swing closed as he exited the suite. Bucky gave out a sigh and turned on his back, covering his eyes with his arm as he rested his head on a cushion. Yet again, he started crying himself to sleep, alone, worried and frightened. Bucky hadn't felt this low in a long, _long_ time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't seem like much, but I don't like to rush too much. There's still a few things to happen before Bucky starts to adjust to Steve quickly and then start to harvest some feelings for him. I can't say it gets any happier though seeing as Steve will possibly have a negative response to it. Enjoy.
> 
> You can find me on my main tumblr: http://starspangled-bucky.tumblr.com/  
> Or  
> On my fanfiction one for updates etc: http://starspangledbuckyfanfictions.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter Two - An Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tears come from the heart and not from the brain." - Leonardo da Vinci

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, Bucky has flashbacks to the rape/non-con that's in this stories, there's no description of what happened, it's just voices inside his head. He also confesses his suicidal thoughts with his therapist. Also, there's references to torture and kidnapping in this chapter. And we see Bucky finding things out about Steve that Steve has been hiding for a few years.

**Albany, NY**

**May 14th 2015**

To Steve’s absolute surprise, Bucky was awake at 8am, showered and dressed as well as fed. He ate breakfast alone in his room when Clint dropped it by, but he didn’t seem to mind. Bucky had hardly slept that night, resulting in an early rise, but again he didn’t protest, because he had slept a little more than usual. The brunette was standing out on the balcony, smoking a cigarette after having his usual morning fix. Of course, he hated mornings when Pietro wasn’t there, those were his peak times where he was aroused as hell and had to deal with it himself before even getting into the shower. He didn’t want to blame people for it though. It was his own fault that he couldn’t keep a stable relationship, what with his attitude and how destructive his life was. And it was most likely why himself and Pietro got along so well. They weren’t into all the _‘love’_ or _‘romantic’_ crap that they saw on a daily basis. Their budding friendship with reassuring hand touches, kisses and mind blowing sex was just what they felt was natural. Bucky tilted his head back to rest on the wall and watched the smoke swirl out of his mouth like a dragon’s breath, smiling slightly. He was too relaxed and too engrossed in what he was doing to have heard the knock on the door from Steve.

“Good morning sir,” he spoke, hands resting behind his back.

Bucky flinched, but lolled his head to the side to look at the blonde.

“Hi,” Bucky replied.

It was progress he supposed. He still didn’t particularly like Steve after the commotion last night, but he’d done this to Tony not too long ago. Maybe it was all a matter of getting to know Steve. If he’d let him that is.

“I was expecting a curse word somewhere,” the blonde mused.

Bucky scoffed and looked back out at the city, taking another drag from his cigarette.

“Didn’t S.H.I.E.L.D warn you that I get mood swings? My emotions seem to change in broken pieces here and there. One minute I’ll be happy, the next I’ll be a sobbing mess,” he answered.

“They did imply it, but didn’t give me full details,” Steve answered.

“Did they give you the whole do’s and dont’s list?” the brunette questioned.

“Yes sir,” the blonde muttered.

“Anything new?” Bucky queried.

“I’m not authorised to say sir. Only because some of it may set off triggers and I can’t let that happen,” Steve explained.

 _How generous_ Bucky thought, rolling his tired eyes.

“I thought I might offer to buy you a coffee before going to your therapist sir,” Steve continued.

Bucky’s eyes widened a fraction in interest. He didn’t just say that he thought. Maybe Steve was feeling bad  for snapping yesterday, or maybe he was just trying to get on Bucky’s good side to get away with snapping at him.

“Aren’t you…I dunno’, not allowed?” he questioned.

Steve found himself smiling again. _God dammit stop it Rogers_ he thought.

“Rule number eight of the restrictions for my client; do not supply Winter with alcohol from my own pocket. I didn’t see anything about not buying you anything non-alcholic,” he mused.

Bucky smirked slightly.

“If you guess my favourite coffee I’ll buy something extra, I know the best place for coffee and they make amazing pastries,” Bucky challenged.

The blonde hummed softly and the sound literally sent a spark right up Bucky’s spine.

“You look like someone who goes for a Café au lait with lots of milk in it,” he answered.

Bucky swallowed thickly.

“Say Café au lait again,” he replied.

Again, Steve repeated it and Bucky looked at him again in slight amazement. Steve stared back and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Do you speak French?” the brunette asked.

“Oui monsieur,” _Yes sir_ Steve drawled, the words rolling off his tongue fluently. “Did French in highschool,” he added.

“Anything else? Anything in college?” Bucky queried.

“да, ру́сский,” _Yes, Russian_ the blonde issued.

Fuck Bucky thought. That completely threw him off, because if he said anything in Russian, Steve would know what he had said. Of course, there was always the Romanian and Serbian that Pietro was teaching him.

“Minunat,” _Wonderful_ he whispered.

Steve’s eyes widened slightly as he tilted his head to the side.

“Really now?” he chuckled.

The brunette froze, gripping the top of the chair in front of him. _Please no_ he thought.

“Don’t look so worried. I know it’s Romanian from the way you pronounced it. But I wouldn’t have a damn clue about what you said,” Steve spoke.  
Bucky sighed with relief and stood up straighter as he put his finished cigarette in the ashtray.

“Yeah, well, don’t worry about it. Should we go? I owe you a pastry or something, and I don’t want to be late,” the brunette muttered.

“So I guessed right with your coffee?” Steve queried.

“Yes,” Bucky replied.

“I used to be a barista before security work. It became normal to know what people liked,” Steve mused.

“Hmm, never would have thought,” Bucky hummed. “So is it just you taking me to see my therapist?” he questioned.

“If that’s okay? Tony is off duty, took a flight to Manhattan for personal business,” Steve answered.

“You mean to visit his boyfriend?” Bucky scoffed.

“Possibly,” Steve issued.

“Doesn’t surprise me, I hear Tony and Clint talking about their relationships all the time outside my door,” Bucky murmured.

“You don’t like all of that?” the blonde quizzed.

“No, not really, Pietro and I just enjoy no strings attached. No problems or anything. I guess I will need to try and settle down one day though,” Bucky mused. “What about you? Do you have anyone special?” he inquired.

Steve sucked in a breath and blinked before letting out a short laugh as if to hide what he was really feeling as himself and Bucky left the room and descended down the stairs. He did have someone once, but with the work that Steve did, things didn’t go so well. However, Steve went on and continued with his work soon after. That was well over three years now since it had happened.

“I did, once. Didn’t end so well with the type of work I do. He couldn’t handle it,” he sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

The slight waver and hesitation in his voice didn’t sit right with Bucky, but he kept it to himself.

“He?” he answered, averting his gaze from Steve.

“Yeah…he,” Steve chuckled weakly.

Silence loomed as they wandered down a long hallway to another flight of stairs. Steve kept his hands behind his back as they kept walking, before speaking into his comm.

“Winter is leaving the mansion. Agent Rogers is his escort,” he spoke.

“Copy that Captain, you’re free to go,” Clint replied.

Bucky rolled his eyes in irritation, he really hated his _stupid_ code name and found it pointless. They stopped suddenly as Bucky scanned his eyes around the dull garage with the countless SUV’s. He felt like they invested too much in them. Steve opened the door for the closest one as Bucky got in the back. Usually Clint let him in the passenger side sometimes, but Bucky didn’t exactly want to get into another conflict with Steve. He settled himself in the back and lent his head back against the headrest. Even in the SUV it felt like a damn prison to him. _Damn, forgot my iPod_ he thought.

“Would you like any music on sir?” Steve chimed, his eyes on the brunette.

“Huh?” he drawled.

“Clint told me it helps you relax better on journeys if you have music. I kind of noticed how anxious you got last night on our trip from Bethlehem,” Steve answered.

“I-” Bucky paused, chewing absently on his lip again. “Sure, just put the stereo on, should have a CD in it already,” he continued, smiling weakly.

The blonde simply nodded and started the car, before opening the garage doors. He pressed a button on the stereo and then flipped his sunglasses down over his eyes.

“What are you? Al Pacino?” Bucky joked.

“Say hello to my little friend!” Steve exclaimed, his accent on point.

Bucky started howling with laughter, leaning his head against his hand, body trembling. Steve grinned and pulled out of the garage and started driving down the long driveway. The brunette was still trying to contain himself, wiping the corners of his eyes. He hadn’t laughed like that in a very long time.

“How come you don’t act like this all the time?” he questioned.

Steve sighed heavily, grip tightening on the steering wheel.

“Too much fun will distract me from my main objective,” he murmured.

Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“You,” Steve added.

How he said it made Bucky’s stomach tie in knots as he stared blankly at Steve in the front view mirror. Steve watched Bucky every now and again, blue eyes alert and bright, seeing Bucky shift and stare out the window. Bucky’s hand came up to his nose as he wiped it, something he did aimlessly now and again due to his cocaine habits. Steve caught onto it and it made him wonder why he did it. He’d seen people do it before, more than any other person would. It may have started raising alarm bells, but Steve decided to keep his big mouth shut for now. Bucky was an easy guy to like and dislike, and Steve was just starting to find that out. On his calm days, Bucky was tolerable, but then there were those days where he lost absolute control and couldn’t help himself. At times, Bucky wished he could help himself, because he hated having to rely on others. Bucky took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.

_“S-stop…please,”_

_“Go on, try and scream for help. No one can hear you. You’re going to enjoy this anyway, you’re mine for the night,”_

_“Please, please…no,”_

_“Shut up you fucking cockslut, that’s what you are aren’t you? Everyone’s little bitch, you’ll give yourself up for anyone,”_

_“Please…”_

“Sir? Sir!” Steve yelled.

Bucky’s eyes snapped open as he stared wide eyed at Steve who had his sunglasses back on top of his head. His blue eyes glared at him, concern woven through them as Bucky looked down at his shaking hands. He hadn’t noticed the sweat on his palms, nor could he feel it trailing down the back of his neck.

“Are you okay? Do you want some air?” Steve asked.

“No I-” Bucky paused. “I’m okay,” he added.

But inside his gut was tying in knots and he felt bile rise in his throat his body practically screaming. Bucky swallowed thickly as he heard the hushed voices in his head again.

_“Get off me,”_

_“Not until I’m finished with you,”_

_“Stop,”_

He heard a strangled cry echo in his ears, his own cry. The brunette’s hands grasped the seat in front of him as he hunched over, his breath coming out in a choked manner.

“Sir?” Steve spoke.

Bucky shook his head as he suddenly grabbed the door handle and tumbled out of the car.

“Shit,” Steve cursed, whipping his seatbelt off.

He ran around the car to find Bucky hunched over, throwing up in the bushes. The brunette grasped his knees as the burn made his throat raw, body trembling violently. Steve stared in shock and took a step forward, but stopped immediately. _You can’t console him_ he thought. But they weren’t even at the mansion now, Steve couldn’t take him to see Governor Barnes. It sounded like Bucky had started sobbing while he lurched forward and emptied more of his stomach out into the plants. Steve felt the guilt wash over him as he stepped forward again. He wasn’t going to let Bucky suffer, it was cruel. His hand came to rest on Bucky’s back and the brunette felt his tears grow heavier, his sobs becoming louder. The last time this happened he wasn’t assisted and sometimes he felt like he needed it. Just by feeling a comforting hand on him, Bucky began to calm down. And ever so weakly he said two words that caught Steve completely off guard.

“Thank you…” he choked out.

Steve smiled sadly, his eyes looking around the area as a few concerned people walked by. He simply waved them off and kept his hand on Bucky. Overstepping a boundary was something Steve had never done. However Bucky was different, and if it meant choosing to overstep a boundary to stop someone’s pain, Steve was going to take his chances.

 

* * *

**Mckownville, NY**

**May 14th 2015**

“You shouldn’t have done that y’know. Wasn’t it overstepping a boundary?” Bucky asked.

They were walking up a long hallway to the building where Bucky’s therapist was, hot cups of coffee in their hands. They may have been only a few minutes late, due to their small delay on the ride there. But Bucky knew Sam was patient, he’d understand completely. The walls were an odd green colour and Bucky didn’t think it contrasted well with the cream coloured tiles. He hated the building just as much as he hated the mansion sometimes. But that’s because the office had all kinds of people working in it. A doctor, dentist, optometrist, marriage counsellor, child service workers, you name it. Then there was Sam, his office all the way own at the end of the _fucking_ hallway. If anything, Sam’s office was welcoming compared to the dingy exterior outside his door. And for some reason, Bucky felt bad about leaving Steve in the craphole of a lobby, considering his rules stated he had to wait outside.

“I found it selfish and cruel leaving you to deal with that on your own since I couldn’t get you to Governor Barnes. No one has ever helped you sir?” Steve answered, after a long pause.

“Not even Clint or Tony, but it hasn’t happened when I’ve had them as my bodyguard. In fact, the last time it happened was when-” Bucky trailed off, suddenly realising exactly who he was about to say this too, faltering his words. “I-it doesn’t matter, you don’t need to know,” he added.

Steve only nodded understandably as he took another sip from his coffee. They stopped outside the door and Bucky knocked on it twice in a quick fashion. The blonde’s eyes read of the plaque on the door, eyes widening suddenly. When the door opened, he stared in absolute disbelief at the man in front of him. _No it can’t be_ he thought.

“Hey Sam,” Bucky spoke.

“Bucky, you’re a little late today,” Sam replied.

“Sorry, got delayed. And Steve here was buying me a coffee,” the brunette mused.

Sam’s attention turned to Steve, eyes narrowing slightly, before a wide smile crossed his face.

“Rogers!” he exclaimed.

“Wilson,” Steve chuckled, giving him a small nod.

“What the hell man, it’s been years!” Sam laughed.

The pair shared a quick hug and Bucky cocked an eyebrow, tapping his fingers lightly on his cup. _Oh boy they know each other_ he thought.

“Did I miss the memo or something?” he joked.

Steve’s gaze fell on Bucky as he still had his hand resting firmly on Sam’s shoulder.

“Steve and I were roommates in college, what was that, eight or nine years ago?” Sam mused.

“Nine, going on ten,” Steve replied.

Again, this caught Bucky’s interest.

“But…then how old are you? ‘Cause I mean, you must have been young in college,” he issued.

“I’m twenty-six, going on twenty-seven in July,” Steve answered.

“Two months away huh? What day?” Bucky questioned.

“Fourth,” Steve mumbled.

The brunette gave Steve one of his signature _‘don’t bullshit me’_ faces, but Steve shrugged.

“It’s true, I guess I couldn’t let my mom wait until the sixth,” he continued.

 _Unbelievable_ Bucky thought. He muttered a few things in Romanian, before slipping by Sam and sauntering over to the plush sofa. Steve stared in bewilderment, before coming back to his sense and looking away from Bucky.

“Would you like to come in? That’s if Bucky doesn’t mind,” Sam offered.

“Oh, I shouldn’t I-” Steve paused.

“C’mon Steve, I feel bad leaving you in that shithole of a hallway,” Bucky huffed. “S.H.I.E.L.D aren’t going to know you were in here with me if you keep your mouth shut,” he added.

“I don’t want to invade your privacy sir,” Steve mused.

“You won’t be. You have something to listen to right? I’m assuming you do. Just do that, you won’t hear a thing,” Bucky replied.

The way he was looking at Steve with those bright blue-grey eyes and tired smile made Steve’s throat dry up. So on instinct, Steve swallowed down the rest of his coffee, before stepping inside. He looked around the room, it was far more relaxing and better looking on the decoration side of things. Steve took a seat on a leather lounge chair that sat beside a bookcase filled to the brim with psychology books and general fiction books. He grabbed a magazine off the coffee table and fished his other phone out that was filled with music. The blonde felt like he should just be outside like the rules had stated, but Bucky had insisted that he sat in a nicer room. _He’s making an effort to be nice I suppose_ Steve thought. His back rested against the back of the chiar, phone teetering on the edge of the armrest.

“So Bucky, how are things?” Sam asked.

Bucky shrugged slightly.

“Average,” he replied.

Sam raised an eyebrow.

“What’s the matter? You usually give me a long story,” he mused.

The brunette looked down at his coffee, tapping his fingers on it. He still felt sick from his flashbacks in the car, his eyes falling closed slowly. Sam looked over at Steve who was engrossed in a magazine about food. _Typical_ he thought, turning his attention back to Bucky.

“Well, my dad got me a new bodyguard, as you can see,” Bucky spoke.

“So that’s what Steve does now,” Sam answered.

“Yeah. But, I dunno’, I didn’t like it. I only just got used to Tony recently, and then I’ve just been given another one. Six months isn’t that long. But yesterday I did something really stupid and I think Steve hates me for what I did,” Bucky explained.

“What did you do?” Sam asked.

“Ran away, caught a bus to go and see Pietro,” Bucky mumbled.

Sam frowned as he wrote something down in the notepad he had.

“And you wonder why you’ve got another bodyguard,” he murmured.

Steve was flicking a page over in the magazine when his music stopped suddenly. Shit he thought. He grabbed his phone and saw the low battery icon on the screen. Steve panicked because he could hear what was being said in the room now. The blonde left the earbuds in as he tried to focus his attention back on the magazine.

“Listen, Bucky. It takes a lot to really make Steve hate someone. Trust me, I’d know from the years we spent in college. I know he’ll come across as stubborn, but he hides himself away much like you do,” Sam issued. “If I’m not wrong I’d say you two are connected in more ways than one,” he added.

Bucky nearly choked on his coffee, covering his mouth as he stared wide eyed at Sam. Steve’s attention was on them, but he made it look discreet. How the hell can Sam know that? he thought.

“I’m not saying be best friends, I’m sure there are boundaries when it comes to that, seeing as Steve is your bodyguard. But I hope you two are trying to settle the change. It’ll stress you out if you try to compete against something that doesn’t need to be competed against,” Sam mused.

“Funny, because…it’s only Steve’s second day, but he’s starting to grow on me, dunno’ how, dunno’ why,” Bucky confessed.

Steve blanched.

“That’s progress,” Sam praised.

The brunette smiled with a cocky grin, putting his coffee to the side as he lent his head against hand. Steve would be absolutely screwed if Bucky or possibly Sam knew that he could hear everything. It was invasive, but he couldn’t get up halfway through them talking and act natural, yet Steve felt like maybe he’d understand Bucky a little more if he knew what bothered him.

“Have you been sleeping?” Sam asked.

“Surprisingly, I slept more last night than I have in a long time, it wasn’t much but still more than I’m used to,” Bucky replied.

“Really?” Sam hummed, sounding genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, I-” Bucky paused, head turning slightly to look at Steve. “I dunno’ what helped me do it,” he added.

Sam simply nodded and scribbled more notes on the paper. Bucky turned his attention back to Sam, his fingers tapping on the armrest. He usually went into detail about what had happened, but Bucky had slept through most of the night and had nothing really to share. That is until the memories from that morning started to dawn on him again. Bucky felt his gut churn and closed his eyes to take a deep breath in. _You are not freaking out again Bucky_ he thought. Steve was still looking down at his magazine, but found it hard to even concentrate on it. Sam shifted in his seat and lent forward, concern laced in his eyes.

“What’s bothering you Bucky?” he questioned, tilting his head.

“ _Him,_ ” Bucky whispered.

“Oh?” Sam replied.

“The voices were in my head. _His voice._ Being commanding. I tried to scream but I just couldn’t. I heard myself begging him to stop but he wouldn’t. He just wouldn’t stop, and the names he called me…they were disgusting. They flashed in my mind on the way here and Steve had to see me panicking and quivering like an animal that’s been treated horribly. I just-” the brunette stopped, covering his face with his hand. “I want it to go away. Everytime I hear his voice, I want to run and hide somewhere dark,” he added.

“Hey. It’s okay…maybe you need to start doing those breathing exercises I taught you more often, yeah?” Sam offered.

Bucky shook his head as tears fell down his cheeks, his breathing laboured.

“Every time it happens, the more I wish I’d drowned in that fucking pool. All my emotions conflict with me. One minute I’m happy with my life, the next I wished I’d put a bullet in my head in Afghanistan, or swallowed down so many pills I choked on my own bloody vomit,” he sobbed.

“Bucky, calm down alright. Deep breaths,” Sam soothed, handing him a tissue. “I know this is hard. But I will help you get through all of this pain,” he continued.

Steve swallowed the growing lump in his throat, hands clenching the magazine tightly. _Someone has traumatised him_ he thought. He felt his jaw clench as he stood up, pretending to switch his music off. And he was sure Bucky was telling Sam about someone who might have been his last bodyguard. Yet here he was being told on Governor Barnes, Bucky and Natasha knew why. Bucky’s gaze fell on Steve as the blonde sat the magazine down and looked over at the pair.

“Excuse me, I’m just going to the bathroom. Will you be alright sir?” he queried.

The brunette only nodded through the tears from his red rimmed eyes as Steve nodded curtly. He retreated from the room and followed the signs to the toilets, quickening his pace at every turn. When he found them, he nearly knocked the door down getting inside as he locked it. His hands shook as he grasped the edge of the sink and hung his head. Steve couldn’t get over the look on Bucky’s face, his cries and the way he spoke, it would break anyone’s heart. He shook his head and sucked in a breath as a few tears threatened to spill from his own eyes, but he held them at bay.

“I can’t believe I just eavesdropped,” he whispered, wiping his hand down his face.

 _How could anyone be as tough as Sam and listen through all that pain and trauma?_ Then again, he would be trained for it, while Steve wasn’t. Steve wasn’t trained to help, only to protect and serve. This was most likely worse than he thought, Bucky was clearly a ticking time bomb. It surely wouldn’t be long until he finally exploded, putting everybody around him in the firing line.

“God dammit Rogers, you’re way in over your head,” he hissed, balling his hands into fists.

He turned the water on and splashed some onto his face, letting his hands slide down slowly. He’d only slept for a couple of hours the previous night, too absorbed in actually wondering if Bucky was sleeping. Steve muttered to himself as he grabbed a paper towel and dried the stray droplets of water off his face. A sudden knock on the door caused him to jump and immediately reach for his gun.

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice spoke, through the door.

The blonde cringed and put his gun away as he wandered to the door. When he opened it, Bucky was leaning on the wall beside the door, his eyes looking Steve up and down. To which Steve raised a questioning eyebrow at.

“Are you okay? Thought the you might have been attacked by the toilet or something,” he joked.

Steve only frowned.

“I wasn’t gone long,” he admitted.

“Actually it’s been ten minutes, almost fifteen,” Bucky mused.

“Seriously!” Steve squawked, glaring at his watch.

Bucky started laughing, slapping his hand on his chest as he hunched over. Steve couldn’t help the embarrassment that coursed through him from sounding like a _freaking_ bird. He stepped out of the bathroom and by then Bucky had calmed himself down, marginally.

“No one has made me laugh twice in the one day in a long time,” he confessed.

“Really?” Steve asked, curiosity laced in his tone.

“Yeah, mom was the one who always made me laugh a lot…” the brunette replied, eyes dropping to the floor.

Steve swallowed heavily, unsure of what to say next as he closed the bathroom door. _So if Bucky was finished with his therapy, what the hell was he supposed to do now?_

“Uh, you hungry, kid?” he questioned, mentally slapping himself for sounding like an absolute dick.

“A little,” Bucky replied.

_Progress._

“Do you want to go get lunch?” Steve quizzed.

“Is that a date?” Bucky asked, grinning smugly.

 _Maybe just a little progress_ Steve thought, feeling his ears burn.

“I-uh-excuse me?” he babbled.

Bucky laughed again as he started wandering down the hallway, leaving Steve behind.

“It was a joke pal. Come on, I know the best place,” he issued.

The blonde stared after Bucky who walked listlessly away. He peered over his shoulder, grinning slightly and Steve scowled, before finding it in him to move. His strides were quick, but Bucky was still way ahead of him, humming quietly to himself. Before they had left, Steve made a stop by Sam’s office again to give Sam his number so they could catch up after hours. Somehow, Bucky couldn’t stop a surge of jealousy that rippled through his veins. Maybe he was being slightly idiotic, but the thought of Steve hanging out with Sam and having fun and getting the freedom Bucky wished he had…it left him a little dazed and confused.

* * *

**Albany, NY**

**May 14th 2015**

In the late hours of the afternoon, Steve was making his way down to the gym. Clint had taken over his shift for a short while, so Steve took it as a chance to get some workouts done. The only thing he didn’t expect though, was to find Clint and Bucky down there. He was stepping into the room when an arrow suddenly flew above his head, hs eyes widening in shock.

“Look at his face!” Bucky cackled. “Works every time when somebody comes in here,” he added.

“What the hell?” Steve grunted, turning around as he pulled the arrow out from the target above him.

Bucky grinned as he twirled another arrow between his fingers before pulling it back on his bow. It flew across the room, hitting another target dead on. _Show off_ Steve thought.

“Nice shot there Merida,” he taunted.

The brunette frowned.

“Was going for more along the lines of Legolas,” he muttered.

Steve pursed his lips.

“Nah, Merida is more fitting,” he mused.

“I still don’t fully like you,” Bucky huffed.

“You say that about everybody kid,” Clint interjected.

“I know,” Bucky replied.

Clint shook his head as he turned to Steve while Bucky continued to fire arrows at the targets. The brunette wandered over to Steve and stood by him, his arms resting lazily over his chest.

“Listen, I just got called for an important meeting with Natasha, Agent Carter and Agent Fitz, and I need to drive back to Manhattan. Would you mind watching Bucky now, just until Tony gets back, he should only be about an hour or so. Please?” he asked.

“I thought Tony was spending time with Agent Henderson?” Steve questioned.

“Those two are lucky enough to get a few hours with each other. Henderson’s been put onto a mission, so Tony is coming back now because there’s not much else he can do at S.H.I.E.L.D. Balancing a relationship is hard work in this job,” Clint explained.

“I understand,” Steve replied. “But sure, I don’t mind watching him,” he added.

“Seriously?” Clint queried.

“Of course. Look, Barnes and I are still a little edgy around each other after yesterday. But I think we’re working on that. He’s been good today, really good,” Steve answered.

“Wow, that’s a change, and I can tell because you’re calling him Barnes not Winter the whole time,” the brunette hummed.

“We went to his therapist and there weren’t any troubles and I didn’t have to wake him up this morning,” the blonde explained.

“That’s really weird,” Clint mused.

His gaze fell on Bucky who was still firing arrows at the targets. He looked so focused on the task at hand, his arms level and relaxed. Each time he let the bow and arrow go he’d smirk slightly in joy. Steve crossed his arms over his chest and watched Bucky intently from where he stood. _He can’t be as rowdy as they say he is_ he thought.

“I’ll see you later. Sorry I have to leave you at S.H.I.E.L.D apartments alone,” Clint issued.

“I’ve got a night shift anyway, it’s fine,” Steve assured him.

The brunette nodded and clapped Steve on the shoulder, before turning away.

“See you around kid! Got important business at S.H.I.E.L.D!” he called.

Bucky’s attention was on Clint, his eyes flickering to Steve, then back to Clint.

“Alright,” he answered.

Clint’s brow raised at the casual answer and Steve simply shrugged in response. When the heavy doors slammed behind Clint, Steve turned back to look at Bucky. _So he does archery?_ he thought.

“Archery huh?” he spoke.

Bucky grinned.

“Yeah, Clint taught me. Tony coached me in tennis and wrestling,” he replied.

Steve nodded in interest, hands dropping to his hips. He watched Bucky fire another arrow, seeing it hit the bullseye, a small smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.

“Pietro taught me fire dancing,” he added.

The blonde’s eyes widened in alarm.

“Fire dancing?” he asked.

“Twirling a baton with fire on each end while dancing to music. He taught me fire breathing too,” the brunette mused.

“I-” Steve paused. “Is that even safe?” he questioned.

“When you know what to do, yes,” Bucky rebuked.

Steve bit the inside of his cheek, before he went over to the punching bags hanging on chains. He wasn’t going to just be throwing punches at it though, there would be kicking added in too. Steve wrapped padded gloves around his hands, covering the knuckles but leaving the rest of his fingers bare. He stepped back and took a deep breath, keeping his eyes focused on the bag. With a grunt he roundhouse kicked the bag, sending it swinging as he kicked again with his other foot. His punches came in with a jab, cross, hook and then an uppercut, before he performed a side piston-action kick. Steve’s chest heaved as he repeated the steps, sweat slicking his forehead as loose strands of hair stuck to his skin. Bucky had stopped firing arrows and turned just in time to see Steve deliver a hooking kick to the bag. He put his bow and arrows down, eyes fixed on Steve in wonderment. The brunette crept closer but kept his distance, hands resting on his hips. Steve flipped around and jabbed the bag with his elbow twice, before finishing with a sweep kick, crouching down low on the floor after hitting the bag.

“Wow,” Bucky breathed out. “Where the hell did you learn to do that?” he asked.

“From a good friend during my training days in France who taught savate classes,” Steve replied.

“What’s savate?” Bucky questioned, the word rolling off his tongue strangely.

“French kickboxing,” Steve mused.

“Woah,” Bucky whispered, eyes widening slightly. “You gotta’ teach me some of that,” he added.

Steve chuckled softly.

“Maybe someday kid. It’s not the only thing I know though,” he issued.

“What else do you know?” Bucky mumbled.

“Dancing, in highschool,” Steve hummed.

Bucky froze, feeling his throat going dry and his heart rate jumping slightly. Steve knew dance, and that’s everything that Bucky had wanted to learn. He looked away, chewing absently on his lip, before sighing deeply.

“Could you maybe…I dunno’, teach me a few things? I mean I know I do fire dancing but that’s not exactly the kind of dancing appropriate for parties,” he queried.

The blonde looked over at the brunette, seeing an almost pleading look in his eyes.

“I dunno’ kid. Maybe,” he answered.

“Please you gotta’ just give me a few pointers…I’ve always wanted to know how to dance. I still don’t know how to. My mom taught me a little, but when she died I stopped caring. I-” Bucky paused. “I wanna’ do it for her. Dad’s birthday is coming up and no doubt the party will have me having to dance with someone,” he continued.

Steve felt sympathy wash over him as he took the gloves off his hands and dropped them by his side. He wasn’t going to show Bucky how to dance today. But he might do, if he got the time to.

“Listen, how about I teach you some things tomorrow night? I’ve got another night shift again,” he offered.

“Really?” Bucky tested.

“Sure,” Steve replied.

“Oh man, you’re the frickin’ best,” the brunette sighed, running his hands through his hair with a smile.

It earned him a shy smile from Steve in return.

“How about we get in that boxing ring and you can show me how good you are with punches?” the blonde suggested.

“Well, how about I show you some fire dancing? Tonight though, it’s better at night. My dad isn’t going to be here until later, so it’ll just be you, Tony and I. Maybe a few others that linger around the mansion until they leave, but they won’t bat an eye,” Bucky mused.

Steve wanted to say _‘maybe another day’_ but if he let Bucky have some fun in the safety of the mansion, it wouldn’t hurt anyone. It would maybe keep the brunette in a good mood also. He wanted to keep Bucky in pleasant moods so they wouldn’t have a repeat of yesterday.

“I don’t see why not,” he answered, after drawing out the silence for too long.

Bucky simply smiled as he wandered over to a bag to grab some gloves. Steve went in search of punching pads, eyes skimming the shelves by the window. Bucky’s eyes were on Steve as he saw the blonde crouch down. His eyes widened suddenly when he saw a scar across Steve’s lower back, his throat clenching slightly. He’d seen a scar like that before, his hand reaching up to rest over his left side, he was surprised Steve hand’t noticed it last night. Back in Afghanistan, Bucky had been captured and held hostage for just over two weeks. The Howling Commandos ordered a rescue mission, even when Bucky was sure he’d be dead by the time they found him. He’d been tortured in ways he never wanted to experience again. Beatings, bone breaking, oxygen deprivation, dunking, whipping and cutting where just some of the things he’d been exposed to. The scar on Steve’s looked like a cut, but Bucky’s was a whipping scar, it dug in deep to his skin when it happened.

“Sir?” Steve’s voice drawled.

The younger man felt bile rise in his throat as he closed his eyes and tried to shut out the memories filtering his head. He would have to tell Sam about it in two weeks.

“Sorry,” he replied, sounding a little shaken. “Drifted off thinking about something,” he added.

“Are you ready?” Steve asked, sauntering over to him.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Bucky scoffed, fastening the ties on his gloves.

Steve nodded as he followed Bucky up into the boxing ring, holding the pads to his side. Bucky turned around and smirked, tightening the ties slightly, before he stood with his feet apart, body turned side on. The blonde challenged him with a wave of his padded hands, placing himself in a defensive stance. Bucky’s fists flew at him with a great speed as they circled around the ring. Steve grinned as he tried to throw Bucky off, but the brunette kept himself focused and level headed. His nostrils flared every time he threw a punch, eyes set on punching the living hell out of the pads. Bucky released his anger through working out when he couldn’t do it any other way. It always made him feel better when he was finished. He grinned and spun himself around, before lobbing another hard punch to the pad. His left hand flew out, but Steve’s balance wavered for just a split second in that moment. Yet in that split second, Bucky’s fist connected with his nose, the sound of bone cracking echoing in the room. Steve didn’t yell in pain, he simply winced and dropped the pads, before bringing his hands up to his nose.

“Oh fuck. Shit. Oh my god I am so sorry!” Bucky yelled.

The blonde’s eyes started watering as the pain set in, his hands stained with red. Bucky panicked as he got out of the ring and rushed over to his bag. He pulled a clean towel out and hurried back to Steve, holding the towel against his nose.

“Fuck. Did I break any bone? I’m sorry I-” he paused, feeling the guilt wash over him.

“It’s fine,” Steve replied, sounding slightly nasaly.

“No it’s not! I just punched you in the fucking nose!” the brunette exclaimed.

“I’ve had worse,” Steve answered.

That then made Bucky recall the scar on Steve’s back, his stomach twisting uneasily yet again. _What the fuck have I done?_ he thought.

“Come on, we have a doctor who visits from time to time. I’ll take you to him,” he offered.

“Really, I’ll be okay,” the blonde sighed.

“You won’t! You won’t be okay unless you get some help! Let me help you! I don’t feel okay knowing I caused this and left you in pain! Just come with me! Please!” Bucky snapped, taking in a deep breath. “I’m sorry…sorry, I snap when people get hurt and it’s my fault. God, just please, please let me help…Steve,” he whispered.

Steve could see the distress in the brunette’s eyes, feeling his heart sink a little. The poor guy was near tears with guilt, his hand resting gently on Steve’s arm. Steve winced a little when he shifted his hand, before looking back at Bucky. His jaw was clenched tight and his grip on Steve’s only grew tighter too.

“Please…” he choked out.

Steve then felt his heart literally breaking at the broken tone in Bucky’s voice. He’d clearly been through a great deal of hurt himself to act like this. The blonde nodded at Bucky and the younger man kept his hand on Steve, helping him out of the boxing ring and down the short stairs. Little droplets of blood hit the floor on their way to the door and Bucky closed his eyes again to let out a shaky sigh to steady his nausea.

“I am so god damn sorry,” he breathed out.

They left the room in silence, but Bucky let out a shaky sob every now and again when it became too much. He felt like he’d fucked up big time, like he did almost everyday of his life. Everyday felt like a challenge, like he had no control over it. And his only way to feel free was to rebel. If only he could find some other way.

* * *

“We were only practising some punches and Steve must have lost his balance when I threw the punch. The next thing I heard was the cracking sound,” Bucky spoke, turning his attention to Tony.

They were sitting outside from the pool area, on the grass, with a few of the lanterns lit around them. Bucky had still wanted to show Steve his fire dancing, so himself and Tony had the baton set out with the wicks attached, along with the fuel and emergency gear if needs be. Bucky’s gaze fell on his hands as he clasped them together and sighed, hanging his head. He had his favourite tasselled vest on and his baggy brown pants, feet bare, dog tags hanging around his neck and slightly messy hair. He’d smudged black around his eyes and painted a few lines on his torso also. It was all part of his performances.

“Well, luckily for you, his nose isn’t broken, it’s just extremely sore,” Tony replied.

“Good I-” Bucky paused. “I really didn’t mean to hurt him,” he added.

“I know kid. He told me. Told me you’ve been behaving yourself, I’m impressed. Why the sudden change?” Tony asked.

“No reason,” the brunette answered. “Just…not having an off day I guess,” he mused.

Tony nodded as he lent back on his hands, still dressed in his casual attire from the morning. Bucky had begun to wonder if Steve was going to show up. He wasn’t exactly getting his hopes up really. Steve said he was fine, yet Bucky felt that lingering feeling of denial ferment in his chest. In his head he knew Steve was probably planning to smother him in his sleep or something. His mind tended to wander to things that were most likely impossible but hard to not think of.

“I know that look Barnes. It’s not your fault, not anyone’s actually, and Steve is not planning evil on you,” Tony spoke.

“You read me like a fucking book,” Bucky huffed.

“Watch your language,” the brunette replied.

“Prude,” Bucky retorted.

“Not a prude, I have a very active sex life,” Tony boasted, before laughing at Bucky’s facial expression. “You just need to watch your mouth or I’ll take away your spa day privileges,” Tony mused.

Bucky gasped in mock shock.

“Heathen,” he accused.

“I’m joking kid, I’m joking,” Tony scoffed.

“Oh I know,” the brunette hummed, smiling softly.

“Hope you weren’t starting without me,” a voice crowed.

Their gazes fell on Steve who was walking towards them, dressed in a simple button up and black slacks. Bucky stood up and jogged over to him, stopping just a few inches from him. Steve froze in his spot and Bucky cursed at himself before stepping back a little. He looked up and saw the light bruising on Steve’s nose, swallowing back the growing lump in his throat.

“I’m still really sorry,” he whispered.

“Sir, you don’t need to apologise,” Steve replied.

“And you need to stop calling me sir. Okay? New rule, no one calls me sir when it’s just you and I, or yourself, Tony, Clint and I. Call me sir whenever my dad is around or someone else important. Every other time just call me Barnes, James or kid that all three of you seem to be using now,” Bucky complained.

Steve smiled sadly at the brunette.

“Okay, James…you don’t need to apologise,” he spoke.

Bucky’s gaze found Steve’s again, his eyes staring intently on the blonde. Steve had said his name with such care and gentleness like it was a fragile thing to say. The brunette sighed and looked away, biting his lip and clasping his hands together.

“Are you going to show me what Pietro taught you or not, kid?” the blonde asked, trying to hide his smug grin.

“Sure, come on,” Bucky murmured.

They made their way back to Tony who was lighting the wicks on the baton for Bucky. He smiled at Steve, who smiled back, before he handed the baton to Bucky.

“Put my favourite song on Tony?” the brunette mused.

“No problem kid,” Tony answered.

Bucky made his way over to a spacious part of the yard, swinging the baton around as he picked up a bottle of vodka along the way. Steve watched with interest as a song began playing behind him, the beat slow with a light jingle like bells around a belly dancer’s waist. The brunette started to sway and twirl the fire baton from one hand to the other, the music now joined with a drum beat. Bucky’s hips swayed as he turned his body and bent back, spinning the baton with one hand. Steve’s eyes widened, arms resting across his chest as he kept watching on. Bucky’s grin grew wider as he spun himself around, swallowing a swig of vodka, before holding the baton up away from his face. He sprayed the vodka towards the fire, causing it to billow out from the wick.

“Holy shit,” Steve gasped.

“Pretty awesome right?” Tony asked, stepping up beside him.

“Unbelievable,” Steve whispered.

Bucky suddenly threw the baton up, doing a few quick spins before catching it with his left hand. Steve grinned and shook his head with a laugh. _Definitely a show off_ he thought. The brunette glanced over at Steve and smiled softly, rocking his hips from side to side again as the baton was passed behind his back. The blonde felt an odd tingle shoot up his spine, yet he brushed it aside and held his hand to his mouth. He was grinning behind it, but didn’t want Tony and Bucky to see him grinning so much.

“More fire breathing!” Tony encouraged.

“Got it!” Bucky called.

He swiped the vodka up from the ground and took a bigger swig, wanting to make the flame bigger this time. Bucky spat the alcohol out in bursts, creating a fireball effect. Tony gave a cheer as Bucky flipped the baton up again, catching it with graceful ease. Steve would never dream of doing anything like that, but Pietro had clearly taught Bucky well.

“Get ready for the big finale,” Tony spoke.

Steve stared in earnest, seeing Bucky drink more vodka, tilting his body back again. He held the baton up to the sky and then let the vodka work its magic. The brunette moved the baton slightly, but continued spraying the vodka out. He looked as if he was breathing fire like a dragon, stunning Steve and also Tony, even though he’d seen it a fair few times. They gawked at Bucky as he finished with a few more twirls of the baton, before extinguishing the flames with fire blankets that were placed beside him. The music came to a stop and Bucky stood with his hands on his hips, breathing heavily, sweat slicking his skin.

“So?” he panted.

“That was-” Steve paused. “Out of this world,” he added.

Bucky shrugged sheepishly and smirked, sitting himself back down on the grass. He had the vodka beside him which earned a small frown from Tony.

“Hey, I think you’ve had enough of that,” he issued.

“Oh come on! I didn’t even swallow the vodka I had! That all went to the fire!” Bucky protested.

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Well I’m clocking off from my shift, because I think it’s time for Steve’s to start,” the brunette replied.

“Fine,” Bucky hummed.

Steve looked over to Tony who had a curious look on his face, a grin starting at the corner of his mouth.

“I don’t know what you did Steve. But I’m amazed and also jealous that you’ve kept him on good behaviour,” he chided.

“I haven’t really _done_ anything though,” Steve answered.

“Huh, weird. Maybe he just likes you easily. Maybe you’re his favourite,” he taunted.

Steve scoffed.

“Anyway, I better get to the S.H.I.E.L.D apartments before I pass out from lack of sleep,” Tony explained.

The blonde nodded in response.

“Sleep well,” he added.

“Will do, keep an eye on that brat yeah?” he joked.

“I heard that!” Bucky yelled.

“You were meant to!” Tony retorted.

“мудак,” _Ass_ the brunette scoffed.

Steve snorted, covering his mouth with his hand as Tony glared at the pair.

“See ya’ around kid. Later Steve,” he muttered.

Bucky sent Tony a wave before relaxing back on his elbows, staring up at the stars. When the pair were alone, Bucky’s gaze fell on Steve, watching him with curiosity.

“Got any interesting stories to tell me?” he questioned.

Steve shrugged.

“There is one,” he hummed.

“Go on then,” the brunette offered.

So Steve did just that, placing himself across from Bucky as he took a glance at the stars as well, then back to Bucky’s face that was illuminated by the lanterns. Maybe his job wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

* * *

As Bucky’s curfew came around, he and Steve had just made in back to the mansion in time. Bucky had a late night craving for ice cream, and seeing as Tony still hadn’t taken Bucky out to get any, he asked Steve. The blonde was hesitant at first, but obliged, taking Bucky out of the mansion when he’d passed the message on to Clint. Bucky was having a hell of a great day and was grateful for it. Steve parked the SUV into the garage and turned the music down that they had at a high volume for the entire ride. The brunette was glad Steve wasn’t one to say no to loud music.

“Just in time sir, your curfew has just started,” Steve spoke.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Bucky replied.

Steve covered his comm and looked back at Bucky with a hard stare.

“My comm is on and I’ve got Director Romanov listening in so I have to call you sir,” he issued.

“Oh,” Bucky whispered.

They stepped out of the SUV and Steve closed the door, watching the night sky disappear behind it. Bucky was already way ahead of him, sauntering down the hallways like he owned them. Steve simply shook his head and followed close behind.

“Good work today Agent Rogers. Have a pleasant night shift,” Natasha spoke.

“Thank you Director,” Steve replied, turning his comm off the feed for S.H.I.E.L.D HQ. “Hey kid, slow down will ya’,” he added, quickening his pace.

Bucky was standing glued to the spot in the main room of the mansion, his gaze directed at the stairwell above. Steve raised an eyebrow in question, before turning the corner and freezing in his tracks also. Governor Barnes stood at the top of the stairs, hands resting on the railing, Clint by his side.

“Son,” he greeted.

“Sir,” Bucky answered.

 _Sir?_ Steve thought.

“I heard you’ve been good today after yesterday’s fiasco,” Governor Barnes mused.

“Yes sir,” Bucky replied.

His entire outgoing personality had just shut down, he was like a kid getting given orders at military school. Steve’s heart sunk a little at the look on Bucky’s face as the brunette stared at his father.

“Good. I expect it to stay like that, understood?” he questioned.

Bucky sighed deeply.

“Understood, sir,” the brunette muttered.

Governor Barnes nodded.

“Goodnight James,” he murmured.

“Sir, this is Steve Rogers, I don’t think you’ve met,” Clint interjected.

“Ah yes. Hello Mr Rogers. Thank you for watching out for my son. I understand he gave trouble on your first day but you handled it well. It’s good to see someone keeping him in line more often,” Governor Barnes acknowledged.

“Just doing my job sir,” Steve replied.

No other words were exchanged as Clint left with the Governor, leaving Steve and Bucky in the room. Bucky glanced down at the floor, jaw clenching tightly, before he took off. Steve followed him in silence to his suite, where Bucky stopped in the doorway, hand resting on the door frame.

“He’s so intimidating,” he breathed out.

Steve didn’t know how to respond.

“He makes me sound like a basketcase,” he continued.

“Far from it sir,” Steve commented, before regretting it.

Bucky turned, his hand sliding down the door frame. He stared at Steve, eyes looking the blonde up and down intently. The growing lump in his throat was swallowed down as he caught Steve’s gaze again.

“Thank you, for a good day that is. I’m still sorry that I punched you earlier. I think I’ll sleep now,” he issued.

“I have to check your doors and windows for you,” Steve replied.

“They’re still closed and locked from this morning,” Bucky answered.

Steve nodded with a small smile.

“I believe you. Goodnight kid. I’ll be out here if you need anything,” the blonde offered.

“Okay…” Bucky whispered.

He stepped further into the room and closed the door, sighing as he closed his eyes, head falling back against the door. Bucky still couldn’t believe it himself that he was acting nicely around Steve. He hadn’t snapped at him since yesterday, except for at the gym, but that didn’t exactly count, that was his fault. Steve was somehow different and even if he tried to yell at him over nothing, he couldn’t find it in him. The brunette ran his hands through his hair, before shrugging his jacket off, followed by his shirt, shoes, socks and jeans. Bucky wandered over to his bed and opened the bedside table drawer, seeking out a small bag of pot that Pietro had left for him on Friday. He smiled and grabbed it out, as well as the essentials needed for rolling it, and also his lighter. Bucky put everything on the bed and grabbed his bag, pulling out his laptop as he opened it, starting it up and placing it on the sheets. His muscles rippled when he stretched, eyes half lidded and weary. The brunette pulled the sheet back, before getting rid of his boxers and throwing them to the side.

“Better,” he hummed.

The laptop lit up when it had finished loading and Bucky grinned, shuffling under the sheets as they sat low on his waist. He opened up Skype and searched his contacts, before clicking on Pietro’s icon and calling him. While he waited, he rolled up some pot and lit up, taking a long drag from it and exhaling slowly.

“Hello sexy,” a voice purred.

Bucky smirked.

“привет красивый,” _Hi handsome_ he crooned.

Pietro grinned as he looked at Bucky on the screen, eyes travelling up and down his torso.

“Are you wearing any pants?” he laughed.

“Nope,” Bucky replied, making the _‘P’_ pop.

“Naughty,” Pietro huffed.

“You’re wearing pants?” Bucky asked.

“Yes, it’s cold,” Pietro answered.

The brunette snorted and took another drag from the pot, humming softly.

“Good, isn’t it?” Pietro questioned.

“Oh yeah,” the brunette sighed.

Pietro chuckled.

“So, what did I do to deserve this call?” he quizzed.

“I need a favour. ‘Cause you’re smart and all,” Bucky replied.

“And here I thought I was getting a show,” Pietro grumbled.

Bucky laughed, shaking his head as he lent back against the headboard. He bit his lip and trailed his hand down his torso and under the sheet.

“Maybe I will after you help me, sugar,” he purred.

He caught Pietro’s gaze and saw the wicked look that crossed his face.

“How tempting,” he crowed.

Bucky let out a small, delightful moan, lips parting as he threw his head back. He liked teasing the hell out of Pietro.

“Fine I’ll help you!” the older man huffed.

“Don’t give me that look,” the brunette laughed.

Pietro rolled his eyes and lent back against his bed.

“What do you need help with?” he asked.

“How do you hack into a department’s files?” Bucky questioned.

“Very easily, unless their security is tight. Why?” Pietro queried.

“I need more info on Steve,” Bucky replied.

“I see,” Pietro hummed. “Well, let me see what I can do and I’ll send it through to you,” he added.

“I’ll just relax then,” Bucky murmured.

His gaze was still locked on Pietro as he watched him work. Pietro’s concentrating face Bucky grin, hand slipping back under the warm sheets. He sighed as he trailed his fingers up his growing erection, eyes half lidded. Pietro scowled and continued typing, seeing the smirk on Bucky’s face out of the corner of his eyes.

“I know what you’re doing micuţo,” _Little one_ he muttered.

“I’m not- _mmpf_ -doing anything,” Bucky groaned.

He chuckled upon hearing his friend curse in Serbian, seeing the frown lines cross his brow.

“Here we are. They really need to work on their security for files. Their passwords are far too simple,” Pietro scoffed.

“You’re a genius baby,” Bucky praised.

“Only for you jackass,” Pietro scolded, with a smirk.

The brunette snickered and opened his emails, clicking on the links Pietro had sent to him. An array of files came up: picture; documents; videos and medical records. Bucky sorted them all out on his screen as he hummed to himself, fingers clicking away at buttons. Pietro excused himself to grab coffee but all Bucky replied with was a simple _‘mm’_ , becoming far too engrossed in Steve’s files.

“What don’t I know about you Steve Rogers,” he muttered.

He opened up a video that had a thumbnail of agents around a table, a Director standing by a screen. Bucky pressed play and watched it intently, keeping the volume low. _Must be Phil Steve talked about_ Bucky thought.

_“Director Coulson, we searched the camp this morning and we found traces of Steve’s blood. It stopped at a set of tyre tracks where we believe he was put into a van,” an agent spoke._

_“Thank you Agent Richards, do we have anything else?’ Phil questioned._

_“No sir, that’s all we found,” Richards answered._

_“Dammit!” Phil exclaimed. “We need to work faster!” he added._

The video cut off and Bucky frowned as he pulled up a file with Steve’s information printed on it. It had _‘MISSING’_ plastered across it, along with dates and locations. They were around about the time Steve said he did field work in Europe. The brunette swallowed thickly as he moved on, bringing up pictures. He gasped, covering his mouth with his hand when he saw them. They were gruesome, bloody and made Bucky feel sick all over. Steve had whip marks all down his back, even that one across his lower back that Bucky had thought was just a cut. The blonde’s face was battered and bruised, his face barely recognisable. He looked half dead from what Bucky could see.

“My god,” Bucky whispered, opening another document.

_Agent Rogers was kidnapped from his safehouse in Moscow on Friday night, before being transported to Saint Petersburg. He was held in a cell for forty-eight hours until he was taken to a room and beaten. From what Agent Rogers has shared with us, they cracked several of his ribs, whipped him, strung him upside down and used him as a punching bag, deprived him of oxygen a few times before finally injecting him with drugs that cause insanity. He had hallucinations and recalled having something similar to a schizophrenic episode. Our team handled the mission well on Monday night when we infiltrated the base and rescued Agent Rogers. His full physical recovery is expected to be a month or more, his psychological recovery we aren’t so sure. But given how much of a fighter Steve Rogers is, I have no doubt in my mind, and I know that he will recover quicker than the medical staff think. - Phil Coulson_

“Oh god,” Bucky choked out, feeling tears well in his eyes.

It somewhat reminded him of when he was in Afghanistan and taken prisoner. He looked away from the screen and put his finished bud down in the ashtray. Bucky wiped his eyes as he blinked away tears and closed the files. He opened Skype again and left Pietro a message saying that he didn’t feel well, before closing the application.

“God fucking dammit,” he groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes.

He couldn’t believed he’d been so hard on Steve the first day he got here when he’d been through all that torture. His hands trembled as he looked around the room, eyes blurred by stinging tears. Bucky glanced back at his laptop and saw another picture, of Steve and another agent by the looks of it. It looked like it must have been a picture of the man from his previous relationship, maybe, or maybe not. _But why would Steve keep it?_ The brunette looked at the small writing below it, squinting his eyes to read it.

**_“Remember I’m here with you always” - Brock Rumlow_ **

Bucky blinked and spied another video behind the picture, this time it had Steve and Phil standing outside a room in a quiet hallway. He played it and saw that it was security footage. _Why do they keep all this?_ he thought.

_“I can’t do it,” Steve wavered._

Tears were welling in his eyes, but he held them at bay as he faced Phil.

_“You have to. We can’t do anything else for him. The virus is spreading through his body and we can’t have him going into a breakdown. This organisation has created a drug that turns people in psychopaths within hours. There’s no telling how much longer Brock has. He could become a danger to us, he will kill anyone in his path once it hits,” Phil explained._

_“B-but he’s an innocent person Phil. I-I can’t. We have to do more,” Steve pleaded._

_“I’m so sorry Steve, but we can’t,” Phil mused._

Steve let out a choked sob as he covered his mouth, shaking his head violently. Bucky’s heart ached when Phil handed Steve a gun.

_“Three times in the stomach will make it quicker. You’ll only have a minute before we need to retrieve Rumlow,” he issued._

The blonde nodded shakily as he hid the gun behind his back with a trembling hand. He turned to the door and opened it, his eyes falling on the man Bucky had seen in the photograph. The man stared up at Steve, with a look in his eyes that looked so innocent and lost.

_“Hey,” Steve whispered._

_“Steve?” the man replied._

_“Yeah, it’s me Brock. It’s me,” he soothed._

_“I’m so glad you’re here. They’re talking crazy about me, I’m confused,” Brock answered._

They embraced warmly, but Steve only with his free arm, the other still resting behind his back. Bucky’s heart started pounding in his chest as Steve shifted to the left.

"No," he whispered.

_“I’m so sorry,” Steve breathed out._

He was sobbing as he brought the gun up, firing once, a breathless gasp slipping past Rumlow’s lips.

_“I’m so sorry baby,” Steve sobbed. “I love you,” he whimpered._

Bucky’s eyes fell closed as the last two gunshots went off, his body flinching at the sound. All he heard afterwards was the pained cries from Steve, a single tear rolling down his very own cheek.

_I’m sorry…_


	5. Chapter Three - There Are No Strings On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others." - Plato

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first half purely bases itself around the past that Steve & Rumlow had. Why? Because everyone needs to understand and see why Steve keeps himself behind a wall to try and protect himself from caring too much. Everyone needs to see Steve in a different light, around Bucky he’s playing the tough guy act and will hardly let his emotions pour out unlike Bucky’s which just explode out. I have to write it like this so that Steve can be shown to have emotion but only in private, yet it’d maybe be better for him to open up about it. The second half will base itself around Steve & Bucky and how Bucky’s feeings are starting to change, that maybe something is starting to well up inside that he isn’t quite truly feeling yet. It’ll be this chapter where I think Bucky’s attraction for Steve will start, only slow. In the third part we’ll start to see Steve really starting to not trust Pietro and try and explain to Tony what he thinks, it’s short and light hearted with some joking behaviour thrown in. And finally the last part we’ll be seeing how Bucky is starting to act a little flirtatious with Steve but doing it in a joking manner because he obviously hasn’t realised Steve is dragging him into something he never thought he’d want/feel. We see how edgy Bucky gets around Ward when he attends his father’s birthday party as Bruce will be present, therefore Ward will be there, we’ll be seeing Steve becoming a bit of a hero when Bucky has a confrontation with Ward. And we also see Steve let his guard down for a flicker of a moment when Bucky does something that may likely have been dangerous. I’ll just add in a warning for Ward being super creepy and calling Bucky a disgusting/degrading name, but there are no references to what he has done to Bucky (as of yet). Bucky will be spilling those beans soon enough. I cut the chapter off at the birthday party scene because if I kept on going with the next party Bucky and Pietro go to it would have been too long.
> 
> \- The venue name for Bucky's dad's party is made up.

  

**Albany, NY**

**May 19th 2015**

_“Agent Rogers this is Brock Rumlow, he’s going to become one of your students to train,”_

_“Hi, great to meet you,”_

_“And you too, sir,”_

_“Please, call me Steve,”_

What started off slow.

_“Just five more laps Rumlow, you’re doing great,”_

Started to burn quickly when Steve took a shine to him.

_“I um-coffee?”_

_“Sure, it’s a date,”_

_“Sir...”_

_“Brock, please call me Steve,”_

He knew Rumlow was starting to see him in a different light when he couldn’t stop staring at him.

_“Steve, what exactly is this?”_

_“Whatever you want it to be,”_

Stealing brief kisses in the hallway and sharing intimate ones in the night.

_“I love you,”_

_“I love you too,”_

Their first mission together.

_"Thanks,"_

_"Yeah, you seemed pretty helpless without me,"_

Their first fight.

_“I’m fucking terrified of losing you!”_

_“You won’t Brock! I’m here for you, always! I promise!”_

When they first made love, Steve’s name was shattered on Rumlow’s tongue when they hit cloud nine.

_“Steve...”_

_“I’ve got you,”_

Their relationship stopped being a secret, especially after Phil found out.

_“I can’t say I’m surprised. But I want you to focus on work more,”_

Steve’s birthday.

_“Happy birthday Steve,”_

_“Brock, it’s beautiful...”_

Christmas.

_“I have an announcement to make,”_

_“Steve,”_

_“Agent Rumlow and I are getting married,”_

Then it all went south.

_“Agent Rumlow pull back!”_

_“Brock!”_

Steve stayed by his side in hospital.

_“Please don’t leave,”_

Rumlow eventually recovered overtime.

_“I almost lost you, don’t ever do that again,”_

_“I’m sorry,”_

Suddenly it was time to say goodbye.

_“I’m so sorry Steve but we can’t,”_

He lost the one person who cared the most, who made him complete.

_“I’m so sorry,”_

The gunshot was loud.

_“I’m sorry,”_

_“I love you,”_

Rumlow was laid to rest.

_“Goodbye Brock...”_

Nothing had felt the same since Rumlow’s death. Three years still didn’t ease the pain that Steve felt every once in a while. He’d died by his own hands and Steve couldn’t stand looking at himself in the mirror most days. Morning had dawned upon him after he’d woken at 4am. Tony took over his shifts for a few days because Steve was getting that _‘feeling’._ That feeling of sadness and torment that distracted him from his work, so he hadn’t seen Bucky for five days now. He was sitting on the balcony of the S.H.I.E.L.D apartments, a blanket wrapped around his bare shoulders, a steaming hot cup of coffee on the coffee table and a book in his lap. Yet it wasn’t just any book, it was the one himself and Rumlow had used to document everything they went through whether it was for work or just in general. He flicked the page over and looked at the strips of photographs they had from photobooths, some ridicuously stupid, some plain hilarious and others full of happiness. A tear slid down Steve’s cheek before it fell to the page, a sniffle following shortly afterwards. _Why did it still hurt?_ It’d been so long and Steve couldn’t let go.

_“I think I love you,”_

_“You think or you know?”_

_“I don’t know...”_

His own laugh echoed in his ears.

_“You idiot. I love you too,”_

With a shaky breath, Steve closed the book and sat it to the side. He wiped his eyes with his blanketed hands, choking back sobs and shaking his head.

“I miss you so much,” he whispered.

It’s the one thing that held him back from seeing other people. Then again, he was too focused on his job to have the time to give someone the love and care they needed. Steve looked at his phone and read that it was 7am, knowing he had to get ready and drive to the mansion to begin his shift. He wondered how Bucky would be that morning, he wondered if Bucky was going to be in a bad mood, because he did prefer the good days over the bad. As he stood from his chair, he grabbed the book and coffee, bringing them back inside to place on the kitchen counter. The apartment was warm and more than Steve had anticipated, he loved it as a place to think.

_“Albany is in for a chance of a light shower later in the afternoon and a possible thunderstorm. But that should be expected to clear within a few hours,”_

The blonde glanced over at the TV to read over the weather for the week. A few days showed that there were showers expected, before it would clear up by the weekend. _Perfect_ Steve thought, rolling his eyes. It was the Governor’s birthday in under two weeks, June 5th and Steve was going to be present. Security was going to be stepped up either way, but Clint and Tony were specifically asked to be the Governor’s bodyguards for the evening. Steve’s duty was to be by Bucky, as well as Pietro who was joining in the festivities as Bucky’s plus one. Steve didn’t know what it was about Pietro, but something seemed off. He figured something lay deep behind his exterior, so Steve was still remaining cautious about leaving Bucky alone with Pietro.

Steve wandered into the bathroom, splashing water on his face and grazing his hands over dark stubble that was starting to grow. Sometimes he let it grow, sometimes he didn’t, it depended on how he was feeling. But he left it for now, he’d no doubt shave it off before the party. He had dark circles under his eyes, lack of sleep was normal for Steve, dreaming of his kidnapping in Russia, and of Rumlow. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he slept for hours to get enough rest to make him last the day. How he managed to get through a day without passing out from lack of sleep was a mystery.

_“Steve what’s wrong?”_

_“Just another nightmare. I’m just gonna’ go for walk, go back to sleep,”_

_“I’ll come with you,”_

Rumlow went everywhere with Steve when he couldn’t sleep at night. To have him around was a godsend for Steve. Not having him there anymore made him feel like asking _‘what did I do wrong to deserve this?’_ to anyone that would listen. Steve’s tough exterior was simply a wall, blocking out all the pain, guilt and regret going on inside his body and mind. Whenever Steve would wake up sweating, shouting and shaking, he’d only need one small touch on his back to comfort him. Rumlow would always wrap his arm tight around Steve, rest his head on Steve’s back and whisper to him that he was safe and alive. The thing that calmed Steve the most was seeing the silver band around his partner’s finger, knowing that Rumlow was his and his for however long it lasted. That was until everything was tragically cut short. Steve gripped the edge of the sink, knuckles white as he breathed in deeply, before exhaling slowly. Everyday was a struggle, but Steve saved it all up for whne he was alone. There was always that fear of letting himself crumble when he shouldn’t let it get to him so badly.

_“I love you,”_

Glass shattered as Steve threw his fist at the mirror, gasping sharply with his head hanging low. A light trickle of blood trailed down the crevices between his fingers, droplets falling to the floor like paint off a brush. Sometimes it became a little overwhelming. He opened the cabinet beside the broken mirror and pulled out cleansing wipes and a bandage, making quick work in cleaning his wound.

“Get it together Steve, _fuck,_ ” he snarled.

He threw the bloodied wipes into the trash and exited the bathroom to get dressed. It’d been too long for him to not be working at the mansion. He’d been assigned to keep Bucky in line, in a way, yet he’d taken five _fucking_ days off. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ he thought. Then of course he may have said to Bucky he’d teach him dancing in time for the party. _But where had he been?_ Hiding himself away in the S.H.I.E.L.D apartments. _Who could really blame him?_

“Morning Cap, will you grace us with your presence today?” Tony spoke, as soon as Steve turned on his comm.

“Yes, I’ll be there. I’m feeling better. How’s Barnes been?” he replied.

 _How’s Barnes been?_ That _had_ to be the first thing that came out of his mouth a little too quickly.

“We’re sort of back to square one. He’s acting up a little,” Tony answered.

“What do you mean _acting up a little?_ ” Steve asked.

“He’s well-” Tony paused. “He’s stubborn again, maybe a little erratic. He took a swing at Clint this morning like he was completely out of his mind, yelling at him and screaming. A few days ago he had a pretty severe nightmare and Governor Barnes wasn’t around,” he added.

“So you let him sleep through it?” Steve snapped, before cringing at his aggressive tone.

He sounded somewhat like a mother hen in that moment.

“No, we let him speak to Pietro,” Tony mused.

Steve’s skin prickled at the mention of Pietro. He still wasn’t one hundred percent sure that Pietro actually cared about Bucky at all.

“I’ll be there in under twenty minutes,” he uttered, grabbing his neatly ironed shirt out of the wardrobe.

“Steve, hold your horses. Are you sure you’re okay? You sound a little shaky,” Tony issued.

“I’m fine. Must be a bad reception. I need to do my job Tony, I can’t sit around here every time I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I’ll see you soon,” Steve sighed.

“Alright,” Tony answered, before the comm fell silent.

Steve fumbled with getting his suit on, hands trembling with unease and anxiousness. _Fuck, stop it_ he thought. He smoothed his hands through his messy hair, seeing that it was getting slightly longer. With one last look at himself in the mirror, Steve grabbed the keys for the SUV, his wallet and keys for the apartment, before heading for the door. The sun was warm on his skin as he jogged down the stairs and unlocked the SUV.

“Barton, I’m on my way. Do I need to pick anything up on the way?’ he asked, switching the comm through to Clint’s.

“No, everything is good here. Just bring yourself. Barnes' only just woken up completely, he’s getting showered then Tony is taking him to the gym for wrestling practice. So you and I can do some security checks around the mansion,” Clint answered.

“Great...I heard he uh...took a swing at you,” Steve replied.

“It’s nothing compared to what I’ve had before. A clip on the side of the cheek from someone’s fist is nothing compared to the broken bones and gunshot wounds I’ve gathered,” Clint chuckled, lightly, as if to lighten to mood.

“Hm, I’ll see you soon,” Steve hummed, turning the comm off afterwards.

Steve reversed the SUV out of the lot and pulled out onto the long stretch of road which was surprisingly quiet that morning. He turned the radio on as he drove down the winding road, the S.H.I.E.L.D apartments were hidden behind a lot of forestry when Steve had first arrived there. A gentle acoustic piece began playing and Steve blinked twice as he did a double take, because he’d heard that song before.

 _Hush now, don't you cry_  
_Wipe away the teardrop from your eye_  
_You're lying safe in bed_  
_It was all a bad dream_  
_Spinning in your head_

His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he kept driving, coming out onto an open road. Flashes of memories flickered in his head as the lyrics began to really sink in. The blonde could feel tears prick at his eyes as he tried to desperately hold them back.

 _Your mind tricked you to feel the pain_  
_Of someone close to you leaving the game of life_  
_So here it is, another chance_  
_Wide awake you face the day_  
_Your dream is over... or has it just begun?_

_“Steve...”_

“Stop,” he whispered.

He could see Rumlow smiling back at him, the time they were on a beach in Europe after a mission, catching the last part of the sunset. The way he leisurely sauntered up to him after a swim in the ocean, crouching down in front of him always made Steve grin widely.

_“Quit sitting there like a dope, big guy, come swim with me,”_

_I will be watching over you_  
_I am gonna' help you see it through_  
_I will protect you in the night_  
_I am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity_

The SUV veered off to the side of the road, gravel crunching under the tyres as it came to a halt. Steve broke down into sobs, hands falling from the wheel as the tears kept falling, choking Steve up. He let out sharp gasps now and again when he breathed in, only to cry again, the sound like punched out whispers. Steve slammed his fists on the steering wheel and screamed at the top of his lungs, practically begging for the hurt to stop.

“I’m sorry! I’m so _fucking_ sorry!” he cried, dropping his head to the wheel.

His shoulders shook as did his entire body, breaths coming out shallow and hoarse. Steve closed his eyes to cut off the tears, but some still leaked out from the corners, dripping onto his white knuckled hands.

“I’m sorry Brock. I’m sorry...” he breathed out.

Steve used to have better control over all the breakdowns, but ones like now would catch him off guard. The guilt festered inside him, something that even three years couldn’t shake away. Steve swallowed thickly, raising his head to gaze out of the window where he could see the faint silohuette of the Albany Mansion. _He’d want you to keep going and do your job_ he thought, wiping away a lingering tear. It was true, himself and Rumlow had discussed it. If something happened to either of them, they would keep on fighting, they’d keep on moving.

_“Promise me you’ll be strong Steve, I know you can be,”_

It was then after Rumlow that Steve encased himself in a cage so strong nobody could break through it. When he was alone he could cry, scream, or sit in silence all he wanted. But he had a job to uphold now, a serious one, he had somebody to protect. Somebody who was troubled, but Steve couldn’t blame him, maybe Steve himself was just as troubled as Bucky, but wouldn’t openly admit to it. They _were_ more connected than they knew, than anyone knew for that matter. Steve’s grip tightened on the steering wheel as he drove out onto the road again, wiping his tear stained cheeks with the palm of his hand. The song on the radio still played in the background of Steve’s mind, his focus now mainly on his duty as a bodyguard. _You’re supposed to be the most talked and asked about bodyguard in the United States, yet you still coop yourself away for days_ he told himself.

“Stark, have the gates open for me. I’m almost at the mansion. ETA ten minutes,” he informed.

“You got it Cap,” Tony responded, immediately.

Steve did a short breathing exercise that Phil had taught him a few years ago. God, he missed Phil a lot, he’d lost too many people he cared about in his life. His father was gone at the age of thirteen, he hardly saw his mother, he didn’t have any siblings, half his friends moved away after college and then there was Phil and Rumlow. Steve couldn’t afford to lose anyone else, he couldn’t stand the twisted feeling in his stomach at the thought of losing more people. Yet the one that seemed to shake him the most seemed to be Bucky. He was definitely on the self-destructive path, but also an open target to anyone. If Steve couldn’t protect him, then Bucky’s blood was on _his_ hands and Steve would be _damn_ sure he’d quit the next day.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Tony taunted, his voice a little crackly on the line.

“Very funny Tony,” Steve chuckled, turning into the driveway.

The gates closed behind him, blocking him out from the rest of the city, stones crunching under the tyres. Steve drove slowly up the driveway, turning down the radio as he approached the garage. He parked the SUV and glanced at himself in the front view mirror, eyes still red rimmed and glossy.

“Fuck,” he cursed, rubbing his eyes roughly.

Steve stepped out of the SUV, closing the door harshly and locking it, before making his way down the hallway. He could hear voices up ahead and one of them belonged to Bucky, sounding a little rough and bored.

“Just wait here kid, I gotta’ grab some stuff,” Tony uttered.

“Steve didn’t even need to go and get stuff. He was always organised,” Bucky muttered.

A choked sound brushed past Steve’s lips as he stopped in the hallway, gaze falling on Bucky. The brunette looked like he’d de-aged by ten years with how he was standing, so innocent and frail. He was rubbing his hands up and down his arms like he had the chills but the mansion seemed fairly warm to Steve.

“Don’t beat yourself up about Steve being away. It isn’t your fault,” Tony replied.

“Feels like it...just go get what you need,” Bucky sighed.

If Steve’s heart wasn’t already broken, he could have sworn he felt it tearing again. Bucky sounded so sad and tired. _What was he blaming himself for?_ Steve slumped against the wall and closed his eyes, his hand sliding up to his neck to pull at a silver chain around his neck. It had the ring he’d given to Rumlow hanging off of it, a plain silver band, which now had Rumlow’s name engraved on it. The blonde sighed and put it away after running his fingers over it as a sense of comfort, before pushing himself off the wall and stepping into the main room. Bucky heard the faint tap of shoes, his head tilting up as he glanced to his right. He swallowed heavily when he saw Steve, lips parting, only to close when nothing came out. But his attention on Steve as a whole, the quick admiration of the stubble, the fine press of his suit, suddenly went straight to his eyes. Spikes of red in the whites of his eyes drastically darkened his baby blue eyes, and Bucky found himself frowning. Until he remembered everything he’d seen a few nights ago about Steve’s past. Bucky bit his lip to keep his own tears at bay, he’d lost track of how many times he’d cried for Steve because of how horrible it must have been. He was supposed to not like Steve, not so quickly, just like he had with Tony. But Steve was different, so, _so_ different to what he’d expected.

“Sir,” Steve greeted.

 _No,_ his voice was all wrong, it was cracked and shaky. Steve sounded like he’d been trying to make himself normal as possible, but he was failing miserably.

“Sir,” he repeated.

 _Please stop calling me that_ Bucky thought, closing his eyes as a tear slid down his cheek.

“James,” he murmured.

There it was again, that gentleness to his name like it was a fragile sculpture on a shelf. Bucky opened his eyes, jaw clenching tightly as he moved from his spot. He didn’t run, but more so walked quickly towards Steve like a man on a mission. Steve was startled when Bucky threw his arms around his neck and hugged him, warmly. His eyes were wide, body rigid as Bucky’s fingers curled into his suit jacket.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

 _Why? Why was he sorry?_ Steve could feel his brain and body screaming at him. This was so wrong, so wrong in the books yet...it felt so _right_ as well. Before he could process it fully, Bucky pulled away and dropped his hands to his side.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

He shouldn’t have done that, but he couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Steve look like he’d hardly slept from crying. Bucky hated seeing people get emotional, he hated himself when he got emotional.

“M’gonna’ go,” he breathed out, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder.

Steve wanted to drag him back, to call him back, to demand answers on what had happened. But he remained still in his spot, watching Bucky disappear down the hallway to the gym.

“Steve you okay?” Tony drawled, appearing by his side, his question ignored by Steve.

_What the hell just happened?_

* * *

Sometime in the afternoon, Bucky found himself back in his suite, curled up on the sofa with a book and the TV on a low volume. He let out a soft moan and tilted his head back, sniffing loudly after inhaling the white powder on his hand. He’d already had two hits in the morning and had now finished his third. It’d been like that for the five days that Steve hadn’t been at the mansion, putting his behaviour into a bit of a rut. Bucky got snappy at Clint and Tony whenever they would wake him up. All Bucky wanted to do was sleep and wash the guilt away. Part of him felt that Steve’s absence was because of his poor behaviour since Steve had first started. To say he couldn’t help his outbursts was correct in some ways, yet incorrect in others. His father’s party was just around the corner and Bucky hadn’t even been taught how to dance yet. Steve hated him, he knew it, at least, that’s what his head was telling him. He glanced over at the TV and saw a news story show up about the up and coming even, his eyes rolling dramatically.

_“Governor George Barnes is set to host a party for his birthday which is fast approaching. Security is being doubled and the Governor’s political opponent Bruce Banner is said to be attending the event. Though there is no word yet on whether the Governor’s son, James Barnes, will be present,”_

“Of course I’ll be present, stupid bitch,” Bucky huffed.

He’d be attending the celebration with damn bells on, he only had to keep himself calm that night. Knowing that Bruce would be there, meant his bodyguards would be there and that included Grant Ward. Bucky shuddered and closed his eyes, he at least had Tony and Steve there with him, and he’d most likely spend most of his time sticking by Pietro’s side. Bucky picked up his phone and opened up his text messages, firing one off to Pietro immediately.

_**You better have a suit, you dick. If not you can borrow one of mine, which we can ruin later if you know what I mean... - B** _

Only seconds later did he get a reply, smirking smugly at his phone screen.

**_You are ridiculous, is that any way to talk to your plus one? Of course I have a suit. But I’d still love to ruin our suits. Together... - P_ **

Bucky bit down on his lip with a huff, palming his hand down his jeans. _Fuck, why did I wear these tight jeans?_ he thought.

**_You better ruin me while you’re at it - B_ **

**_I think that can be arranged. How would you like it? Bent over a table? In bed? Up against the wall? - P_ **

_This asshole_ Bucky thought.

**_Definitely against the wall...at that party we’re going to after being at my dad’s party briefly - B_ **

**_I can’t wait - P_ **

The brunette grinned and licked his bottom lip lazily.

**_See you on Friday? - B_ **

**_Friday, micuţo - P_ **

**_Fuck you - B_ **

**_Me? No, I plan to fuck you though - P_ **

**_Ugh - B_ **

**_I can practically hear you grunting. I need to go back to work - P_ **

**_Don’t think about me too much - B_ **

He threw his phone to the other end of the sofa and lent back against the arm rest, eyes darting back to the TV. A sudden knock on his door had Bucky fumbling to tidy up his stash, missing a bit of the powder that fell on the floor.

“Just a second!” he called.

Bucky grabbed his shirt and slipped it over his head, before sitting back down on the sofa.

“Come in,” he spoke.

The door creaked open slowly as Bucky locked gazes with Steve, his eyes darting down for only a moment. There was no lie that Steve didn’t look good in suits, causing Bucky to chew on his lip but shake his head afterwards.

“I’m on my shift now sir,” Steve greeted.

He didn’t even seem to want to ask about what happened earlier on in the morning.

“Steve, what did I say about calling me sir in private?” Bucky muttered, leaning his elbows on his thighs.

“Sorry, I forget sometimes,” Steve replied.

Bucky smiled faintly back at Steve, noticing a flicker of a smile on Steve’s lips too. He parted his lips to speal again, only to see Steve stare at him with wide eyes, his posture straightening up slightly.

“You’re bleeding! Your nose!” he spoke, voice raising in panic.

The brunette wiped his thumb under his nose and sure enough when he pulled it back there was bright red blood staining his thumb. Shit he thought.

“I _uh_ -just, fuck, gimme a minute,” he stammered, standing up quickly.

“Do you need help?” Steve asked.

“No I’m fine!” Bucky yelled, slamming the bathroom door closed.

Steve raised an eyebrow as he stepped further into the room, peering at the TV for a moment. His gaze fell to the floor, where he spotted a white substance dusted into the fibres of the carpet. To him it looked like sugar, but sugar usually had a sparkle to it. The blonde crouched down and pulled a cloth from his pocket as he dabbed it on the powder to pick some up, brow creasing in confusion. He held it up closer and drew the cloth back at the smell, faint, yet smelling of chemicals. _No. No fucking way, it must be Pietro’s_ he thought. Yet _if_ Pietro had been walking into the mansion with drugs, Bucky was surely to be tempted to some. Steve sighed and rolled the cloth up, tossing it in the bin, he didn’t want to judge Bucky too quickly. For all he knew, it could only be a cleaning powder when the maids cleaned the rooms. Steve had stood up just in time for Bucky to exit the bathroom, with no evidence of a nosebleed ever occurring.

“Are you alright?” he questioned.

“Fine, I usually get nosebleeds when it’s warm,” Bucky lied, placing himself back down on the sofa.

“Right,” Steve murmured. “Anyway, I _um_ -I was wondering if-” he paused, with a deep sigh.

“Spit it out Steve,” Bucky chuckled.

He laughed so softly, but it sounded like it rippled through his whole body. It was so fluid and contagious, it would make anyone crazy for it.

“Well, I’ve been away for five days, again I’m sorry for that. Your father’s birthday is not too far away. And someone still needs to teach you how to dance, again,” Steve mused.

Bucky averted his gaze away from the TV, eyes widening a fraction. He didn’t actually think Steve would have agreed to the dancing lessons. Needless to say, he _was_ shocked.

“Really?” he breathed out.

“You wanted to do it for your mother, right? To make her proud. I can’t let someone’s goals slip away, not when it’s for someone they loved dearly. I know what it’s like to miss a mother’s love...” Steve explained, smiling sadly.

“Yes!” Bucky exclaimed. “Yes, god yes, fuck. I-I...Steve, thank you. Thank you so much,” Bucky whispered.

Steve still hadn’t clued in on how Bucky simply slipped back into his usual routine of being calm and tolerable around Steve. It made him feel sorry for Tony and Clint, who did try their best.

“I _uh_ -hmm _,_ ” Bucky hummed, turning the TV off. “I’ll go put on shoes and meet you down in the dance hall,” he added.

“You have a dance hall?” Steve queried.

“Straight across from the gym, has an old record player and everything,” Bucky answered, opening up his walk in wardrobe.

“Alright, I’ll see you there,” the blonde replied.

He turned and quietly left the room, closing the door gently behind him. Steve had done a walk around of the mansion and found that himself and Bucky were the only people there. Clint was attending yet another meeting with Governor Barnes and Tony was out running errands. And most of the other residents who lingered in the mansion were far away from them or working outside of the mansion in the city. Steve didn’t exactly want to get caught teaching Bucky how to dance in case it was against what the files had stated. Then again, Steve hadn’t been paying attention to it as of late. Steve sauntered down the hallway to the gym, noting the door across from it for future reference, if he needed it.

“Geez, did you take baby steps or something?” Bucky’s voice drawled, from down the hallway.

“This is how I usually walk,” Steve retorted.

“Hope you can run fast then, for the sake of me,” the brunette rebuked.

“I’m offended Barnes,” the blonde quipped.

Bucky snorted and pushed open the doors, revealing a very spacious dance hall, big enough for at least fifty or so guests. Steve stared in awe, doing a full turn as he gazed at all the decor and seating around the room. The large wooden floor for dancing looked newly polished and Steve grinned, before looking over at the record player with all the records beside it on shelves.

“This is... _wow,_ ” he gushed.

“Haven’t been in here since mom passed. I’ve missed it,” Bucky spoke.

Steve glanced back to see the sad smile on Bucky’s face, feeling his own face contort into that of sympathy. He walked over to the record player and placed the needle down on the vinyl with a content sigh. Bucky was standing in the middle of the floor, gazing over at Steve, solemn eyes watching him intently. Steve spun back around as a classical melody began playing, circulating through the entire room.

“C’mon Barnes, get into a stance. I’m sure you know the basic stance for the waltz,” Steve chided.

“I-it may be a little rusty,” Bucky sighed.

“Sorry if this will offend you, or make you look at me weird but try the woman’s stance. Here, I’ll take the lead for the male one,” Steve offered.

He was standing over at Bucky’s far left, extending one arm out and then bringing the other one around as if he was holding someone’s waist. His posture was near perfect and Bucky couldn’t help but stare. Bucky also tried not to laugh at how ridiculous it looked, a small smile gracing his face. Steve smiled back of course, wide and beaming.

“Alright, so if I’m like this, how do you think you’re going to be?” he tested.

Bucky looked genuinely flustered as he extending one arm like Steve’s and then rested the other up as if placing it on his partner’s shoulder. Steve grinned widely and nodded somewhat approvingly.

“Not bad,” he hummed, making his way over to Bucky. “You’re maybe a little off balance,” he continued. “If you don’t mind it, is it alright if I fix your stance?” he added.

“Sure,” Bucky answered, a little _too_ quickly.

Then Steve’s hand was touching him and Bucky felt his skin prickle as Steve’s hand rested lightly on his lower back. Steve pushed gently on the curve of Bucky’s back to straighten him up, his other hand coming up to Bucky’s extended hand to turn it into a different position. He was delicate, _oh so_ delicate with his touches, so much so Bucky had to close his eyes to steady his pounding heart. The brunette breathed in deeply, his gaze watching Steve’s hands when he opened his eyes, until they disappeared from sight.

“Better. Just follow my lead. Count in your head, _one, two, three_ and then _spin,_ but more so _glide_ like a swan swimming across a lake afterwards. Watch me first,” Steve instructed.

Steve had clearly spent hours of practice on dancing because he easily got back into the correct posture and began to move. Bucky counted Steve’s movements, _one, two, three_ and _spin,_ repeating it time and time again in his head. The blonde moved with grace, his feet light on the floor, his body shifting with ease but also strength.

“Come on, let’s see if you can keep up,” he challenged, after spinning past Bucky.

Bucky laughed as he started to count his own steps in his head, his attention always falling to his feet.

“Always keep your head up and to the front as if you’re looking directly at your partner,” Steve informed.

“Right, right,” Bucky replied.

“One, two, three and spin, now glide,” Steve drawled.

When Bucky felt himself spinning and gliding right on cue, the adrenaline rushed through his body. It’d been a long time since he’d danced and Bucky could feel tears welling in his eyes instantly.

“I hope you’re proud mom,” he whispered.

The music stepped up a tempo and Bucky faltered, yet picked himself back up and kept on going. Steve whisked by him and shot the brunette an encouraging smile, before disappearing from Bucky’s view. His smile was damn near dangerous, especially for someone like Bucky who had his weaknesses no matter who was around him. _Stop it_ he scolded himself. The music began to fade and play into another song, something slower and a little more delicate. Bucky gasped in surprise when Steve spun and slid into his personal space. His arm looped around Bucky’s waist and the other reached out so he could clasp his hand in Bucky’s. They began to sway together, keeping their steps light and in sync, Bucky’s blue-grey fixed on Steve’s baby blues. He had to look away however, restoring to staring at his feet again, only to feel Steve’s hand press harder on his back.

“Eyes on me, James,” he crowed.

 _Christ,_ Bucky didn’t just feel his heart flutter, he absolutely _did not._ He glanced back up at Steve, his baby blue eyes tender, yet focused. Bucky swallowed thickly and felt his cheeks flush, turning a light shade of pink. It was impossible not to get flustered over gleaming eyes like Steve’s.

“I’m going to spin you out,” he spoke.

“Okay,” Bucky breathed out.

His body was pushed to the side before he spun, _once, twice_ and dropped his free arm slowly to his side, the other held out, hand grasping the blonde’s. He knew there had to be chemistry with dancing or it wouldn’t work, which Bucky could feel only slightly. _But could Steve feel it?_ Bucky was too caught up in his thoughts to feel himself being drawn back in, chest roughly hitting Steve’s. He stared up at Steve, blinking a few times to bring himself back to reality. They were most likely a little too close to each other, if not a lot, boardering on what would be classed as inappropriate. Bucky really had to close his eyes for a moment, because looking in Steve’s eyes was like observing the stars in the sky at night. It was all _too_ much.

“You did great,” Steve commented, his voice sounding closer than it should be.

Then there was a sudden emptiness where Steve once stood, Bucky’s hands falling to his sides as he ducked his head to open his eyes. He was greeted by the polished wooden floor and what looked like droplets of tears he didn’t even know had been falling. Bucky didn’t know what it was that started it, most likely the thoughts of his mother when she said he did great. But something deep down to the roots was beginning to crawl its way out, something Bucky either had no control of, or something he didn’t _want_ to control. His knees went weak and gave out as he dropped to the floor, the smack of his hands on the floor alerting Steve immediately.

“Sir!” he called.

Bucky couldn’t stop the sob that fell past his lips, his hands curling into fists. His body was trembling and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He could feel the beginnings of a panic attack, surging it’s way through him, body now shaking uncontrollably. The sound of Steve’s footsteps close by had Bucky inhale a deep breath before reaching out and gripping Steve’s pant leg tightly. He needed support when he went through an attack.

“Hey, deep breaths alright?” Steve soothed, crouching down beside Bucky. “It’s okay, relax,” he added.

He looked concerned and Bucky wanted to scream at him and ask him why he wasn’t being taken to his dad like the rules had clearly stated. Yet then he remembered it was only himself and Steve at the mansion right then. Bucky couldn’t help but latch onto Steve, forehead resting on the blonde’s shoulder.

“James...” he sighed.

“Please...we’re the only ones here and I can’t sit through this alone,” the brunette pleaded.

“Okay,” Steve answered. “I’m right here,” he assured him.

 _You’re in so fucking deep_ Bucky scolded himself. His hands were resting in his lap now, but his head remained on Steve’s shoulder, eyes screwed shut. He’d never had a panic attack in front of his bodyguards, and not during the middle of the day either. They were more prominent during the night and when he was sleeping. He felt ridiculous asking so much of Steve. But the fact that Steve showed no hesitation, and care, Bucky was beginning to think that maybe, just _maybe_...he was seeing the Steve that wasn’t hiding behind a tough exterior.

“I’ve got ya’ kid,” Steve whispered.

The last thing he recalled was Steve wrapping his arms around him exactly how Bucky had when seeing Steve’s teary eyes, before his body gave in and Bucky passed out.

* * *

**June 4th 2015**

“Pietro!” Bucky shouted.

“Hello beautiful,” Pietro replied, grinning widely as he approached Bucky.

Tony was trailing close behind him, lugging a duffel bag with him, with a deep frown on his brow. Governor Barnes’ birthday was the following night, yet Pietro kept insisting that he should arrive on the Thursday instead of the Friday. Clint, Tony and even Steve all seemed to be against the idea, but Bucky’s choice overruled all of theirs. Bucky had been out jogging around the mansion and somehow still managed to look great with a flushed face and sweat slick skin.

“Gross, you’re all sweaty,” Pietro laughed.

“Oh shut up and gimme a kiss,” Bucky scoffed.

Pietro smirked and lent forward, hooking two fingers into Bucky’s sweatpants to pull him closer and go right on in for an open mouthed kiss. There was a chorus of groans as Clint and Steve appeared around the corner, faces screwing up.

“When you two love birds are finished,” Tony interjected.

“Hmm, fuck off Stark,” Bucky chuckled, drawing Pietro back into the kiss.

There was no tenderness to it, it was all tongue and teeth and looked like a makeout scene from a teen movie. Steve rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest with a hard look etched on his face.

“Alright that’s enough, seriously,” he grunted.

It passed off as a little harsh and Clint and Tony were staring at him with raised eyebrows. Bucky parted from Pietro and glanced over his shoulder at Steve, mouth curving up at the corner.

“S’the matter Steve? Jealous?” he teased.

“I-” Steve paused, arms shifting closer together against his chest. “You have a room,” he muttered.

“Oh I’m definitely putting that down as jealousy,” Bucky whispered, right into Pietro’s ear.

His friend chuckled and teasingly nipped Bucky’s neck, causing the brunette to moan and snap his mouth shut. Bucky woke up in one of his _‘I don’t give a fuck’_ moods and it was beginning to bother Steve because he had been doing fairly well. He was warned about Bucky’s mood swings though, and figured this was him experiencing it for the first time.

“Shall we go upstairs? I need to get you out of those sweatpants,” Pietro purred.

“Only if you join me for a shower,” Bucky murmured.

“Oh for the love of-” Steve stopped, abruptly, letting his jaw clench tightly.

Bucky got the hint and smirked as he started to drag Pietro over to the stairs, glancing briefly at Steve, then Tony.

“Just leave his bag outside the door, we’ll get it later,” he issued, turning his attention back to Pietro.

They couldn’t even keep their hands off of each other for a few minutes, hurrying up the stairs like horny teenagers in college. Clint, Steve and Tony exchanged glances with rolled eyes thrown into the mix, as if they all shared the same feeling about the public display in front of them only seconds ago. When the bedroom door slammed shut, their was a thud and they _knew_ that Bucky or Pietro had just been shoved roughly against the door.

“Those two are like horny teens, they have no shame,” Clint uttered.

“You’re telling me. I had to listen to Pietro tell me all about how he was looking forward to seeing his best friend and making him feel good and making him scream all night long,” Tony explained.

Steve and Clint groaned in unison.

“Terrible,” Steve added.

“Who even says that about their _best friend?_ ” Clint asked.

“I sure don’t say that to you Clint. Steve, what about you? You ever told your best friend you’d do that to them?” Tony murmured.

“I uh-” Steve paused. “Don’t even have a best friend...not anymore,” he added.

He held his tongue to stop himself from continuing on about Rumlow, he couldn’t have another ordeal like last week. Tony went to speak, but took the latter and kept his mouth shut, seeing the pain flash in Steve’s eyes, but he didn’t want to be nosy.

“Well, I have to go and speak with Governor Barnes about security checks for tomorrow night, so you two are on duty for Romeo and Juliet up there,” Clint replied, jabbing his thumb of his shoulder.

Tony snorted and picked up Pietro’s bag again.

“Which one is Romeo and which one is Juliet?” he questioned.

“Oh Barnes is definitely Juliet,” Clint answered.

Steve barked a laugh and slapped his hand against his chest, throwing his head back a little. He was starting to enjoy both Tony and Clint’s company, finding them to be extremely easy to talk to.

“I’ll see you both in a couple of hours,” Clint hummed, giving the pair a small wave.

Silence lingered in the room for a moment, until Tony cleared his throat, earning him Steve’s attention.

“So Rogers, do you play cards?” he inquired.

“Back in my field work days, yeah,” Steve chimed.

“You wanna’ go a few rounds? See if you’ve still got the knack for it?” he challenged.

Steve shrugged lazily.

“Sure, why not?” he replied.

Tony smiled as they made their way up the stairs, Pietro’s bag slung over Tony’s shoulder.

“Do you always carry his bag when he visits?” Steve muttered.

“Most of the time,” Tony mumbled.

“Should learn to carry it himself, he has two hands. You’re a human being not his slave,” the blonde grumbled.

“Ouch Steve, but I’m flattered. You could burn someone with that glare though. Not a fan?” the brunette chuckled.

“Something seems off about Pietro and I have a knack for knowing these things,” Steve sighed.

“Well-” Tony paused, throwing Pietro’s bag against the door. “As far as I know, you don’t really trust anyone these days,” he added.

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Steve laughed. “Haven’t been able to trust anyone since-” he choked, cutting his words off and looking down at the floor.

“You don’t need to tell me. Come on, sit,” Tony offered, pulling up two chairs and a small table fit for two. “Clint and I usually sit here and do this, passes the time while Barnes sleeps or...y’know,” he continued, wiggling his brows.

“I figured,” Steve said. “And to finish what I said...I haven’t trusted anyone since my last director was betrayed by someone we thought was on our side. Him and his team ambushed us during a mission, held us all down while he killed Phil right in front of us. I begged him, I said ‘take me instead’ but apparently I wasn’t a valuable asset to what Phil was. Four other agents were shot and left to bleed out, and I escaped with the remaining agents. So out of it all, four of us survived, that was including me. I’ll never forgive myself for what happened. I should have tried harder,” he explained.

Tony stared at the younger man with a sympathetic expression on his face.

“What was his name, the guy who-” he stopped, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Alexander Pierce...” Steve uttered.

The shocked look on Tony’s face told Steve he knew exactly who that was.

“I uh-fuck...I’m sorry. I worked with Pierce for a year before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D,” he breathed out.

“Must have had different motives back then,” Steve replied.

“Maybe,” Tony responded, still riddled with shock.

The blonde picked up the cards and started shuffling them, leaning back lazily in his chair.

“I need to ask you something. But you don’t have to answer it in detail,” he crowed.

“Go on,” Tony urged.

“Do you know anything about Barnes’ last bodyguard?” he quizzed.

“No,” Tony answered, abruptly. “And it should be that way, because whatever he did. He’s fucked up Bucky big time. Before you got here, when he started seeing Pietro, whenever Pietro tried to touch him affectionately, he’d flinch and curl in on himself. Yeah I know, I said his nickname, sue me. But I don’t ever want to know what Grant Ward did to him. He made my skin crawl when I was just an agent in training. He’ll always make my skin crawl,” he continued.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so forward,” the blonde murmured.

“No, I’m sorry. Shit. I just... _care_ about the kid y’know, like he’s my own. He’s like the son I’ve always wanted, flaws and all. And I don’t think he sees _how_ much Clint and I care, because we really do. Sure he’s a troublemaker, but I’m pretty sure if I was in his shoes I’d be acting out,” the brunette huffed, picking up his cards that Steve had placed down for him.

“See, this is where I feel off about Pietro. It feels like he’s hiding something, and so is Bucky. In his room at least a week ago, there were speckles of white powder and the smell was like chemicals. I don’t have much experience with drug odours, but it smelt like cocaine,” Steve said.

“You think Bucky’s taking drugs?” Tony accused.

“He might be,” Steve rebuked.

“Are you nuts? If he was, we would have found them by now,” Tony protested.

“Barnes had a nosebleed then too, says it happens when it’s warm, except that day it was the coldest we’ve ever had,” Steve issued.

“The kid hasn’t had a nosebleed since I’ve been here,” Tony whispered, a grave look crossing his face.

“Starting to believe me now?” the blonde asked.

“We shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Bucky’s a good kid, for the most part and I highly doubt he’d be dumb enough to consider drugs. Y’know, I used to be into that stuff, a long, long time ago. Fucked up stuff and I can’t see Bucky being someone who would wreck his life like that,” Tony scoffed.

“But-” Steve groaned, turning his attention back to his cards.

“Steve, please, just drop it. Pietro may not be perfect, but nobody else is either,” Tony barked.

He wanted to argue, he really did. But Tony had a point, he had to put the childish shit behind him. Steve didn’t know Pietro all that well and it’d be a disaster to accuse him of something that might not be true.

“Sorry,” he apologised.

A sudden yell sounded from behind the door and Steve was on his feet within seconds, only to have Tony grab the sleeve of his suit jacket.

“I wouldn’t,” he warned.

“Didn’t you hear that yell?” Steve questioned.

“Just give it a minute,” Tony ground out.

They fell silent as the faint sound of the shower running hit Steve’s ears. Then there was a loud, drawn out moan and Steve’s eyes widened in shock.

_“Oh, Pietro,”_

Steve stepped back from the door and sat back down in his seat, face flushed with embarrassment.

“You sit and listen to that!” he exclaimed.

“Sadly, we have to suffer it. Our number one priority is to protect Barnes, no matter what he gets up to behind closed doors,” Tony mused.

_“Oh god. Fuck, fuck!”_

“I wish I’d been informed,” Steve grunted.

“Oh come on Rogers, _everyone_ has sex, it’s not taboo. Stop acting like a delicate little flower. I bet you had your fair share,” Tony teased.

Steve flushed even redder.

“I- _you_ -that’s none of your business!” he spat.

Tony laughed warmly, before fanning his cards out as he looked over them.

“Craig and I do all the time,” he mumbled.

“Alright stop! Stop,” Steve sputtered. “Jesus,” he added.

“Yes my son,” the brunette jested.

“You’re worse than Clint,” Steve huffed.

“Guilty,” Tony sang.

The pair fell silent, even though they could still clearly hear Bucky and Pietro going at it like the apocalypse was happening. Steve was frustrated and flustered by Tony’s comments, which he knew both didn’t mix well together, yet he kept himself together with his usual deep breathing exercises.

“If you really wanna’ know...I did have my fair share. Morning, noon... _and_ night,” he confessed, pursing his lips.

Tony was laughing again, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Really? You make me feel old,” he chortled.

“Well... _you_ are,” Steve retorted.

“Touché my friend, _touché..._ ” he said.

Steve knew then and there that he would fit in nicely.

* * *

**June 15th 2015**

**Westhaven Venue**

“Excuse me ma’am, would you mind if I searched your bag? It’s simply for security reasons,” Steve spoke, rather eloquently, if not a bit too much.

“For a handsome man like yourself, of course,” the woman replied, flashing Steve a smile.

She was up to Steve’s chest in height, which always made him feel a little uncomfortable, being so tall, because his line of sight always fell on a woman’s bust, and this dame was wearing a fairly low cut dress. That only appeared to amuse her, making Steve swallow thickly, before handing her bag back.

“Thank you ma’am,” he chimed.

“No, thank _you,_ ” she purred, lightly brushing her hands off Steve’s hand as she took her bag.

He could have sworn he heard Clint and Tony chuckling beside him.

“Assholes,” he huffed, with a brief smirk.

Steve had to admit, the guest was beautiful, with her long black curls and striking emerald green dress. But Steve only ever did see woman as beautiful in a complimentary sort of way, not in a romantic sense. She sashayed away with grace in her steps and Steve turned his attention away to attend to the next guest. He was standing between Tony and Clint with a few other bodyguards across from them, greeting guests and searching them at random for any signs of weapons that may be a danger to the Governor and his son. Governor Barnes had arrived already, but Bucky and Pietro were going to _‘be late’_ apparently. _Be late my ass_ Steve thought.

The venue appeared small on the outside, but on the inside it was like walking into a luxury venue in Europe. The ceiling was high, with a giant crystal chandelier hanging from it, the walls covered with carvings of vintage designs. There were waiters weaving by throngs of people with beverages and appetisers and a quartet sat by the open doors that lead out to a balcony. Guests mingled around the polished dance floor where a few were already engaging in some waltzing with laughs echoing in every direction. Steve hadn’t attended anything as extravagant as this and was impressed so far, he only wished he wasn’t there as a bodyguard. There was even a second floor with bathrooms and rooms with seats inside for guests who wished to separate themselves from the noise downstairs for a while.

“Agent Rogers,” a soft voice greeted.

The blonde turned to see Peggy standing before him, dressed in a long, scarlet red dress with short sleeves on it, her black bag held out towards him. His eyes darted to hers which had light makeup around them, her lips a deep red colour and her hair pinned up neatly in curls.

“Agent Carter I-you _look_ wonderful,” he commented, taking her bag in his hands.

“Do you flatter everybody with that compliment, especially the men?” she asked.

He was blushing, he was blushing _very fucking_ hard and it had been so easy to make him that way.

“Only when needed,” he responded.

“You have questions,” Peggy mused.

“Well, I was going to ask you what you were doing here,” Steve chuckled.

“S.H.I.E.L.D does get invited to some events such as this, seeing as we are working with the Governor as security personnel,” Peggy issued.

“And they didn’t invite me,” Steve complained, jokingly.

“Oh I’m sure you’ll find your job will be very relaxed.

"You are allowed appetisers and quite often you _are_ allowed one drink. That all depends on what Director Romanov says though,” Peggy hummed.

“Hmm, this might not be so bad,” Steve replied, handing the brunette her bag back.

“Hopefully I’ll see you sometime during the night,” she soothed, before wandering off with Misha who gave Steve a welcoming nod.

Pepper had just been searched by Tony, Angelo being her plus one, both of them matching with striking pale blue elements to their formalwear. And soon enough, Fitz and Simmons were filing in, in a flourish of orange, with Isla not too far behind in a white and black dress. Steve glanced at Tony and Clint, who had smiles on their faces when Natasha and Craig stepped through the doors.

“Nat, you look beautiful,” Clint complimented.

“So do you, well, handsome I should say. _Even_ in your S.H.I.E.L.D suit. How has the search been?” she questioned.

“No weapons or anything potentially dangerous thus far, Director,” Steve interjected.

Natasha smiled kindly.

“Thank you Steve. I heard Barnes is behaving,” she hummed.

“He’s not so bad...tolerable,” Steve mused, with a small smile.

She nodded, before planting a kiss on Clint’s cheek, looping her arm through Craig’s after he’d said _‘hello’_ to Tony.

“Enjoy yourselves. But remain alert,” she ordered.

“Yes Director,” Steve replied.

Leading up to the party, Steve and Bucky had stolen every chance alone that they could get to go to the dance hall and practice. Steve taught Bucky how to dance to music with a faster tempo and also how to take the lead with a partner. Bucky enjoyed himself in those moments, more than he ever had, making him extremely eager to show off his new dancing skills. Yet, he still couldn’t shake the lingering feeling in his chest whenever himself and Steve danced. A dull ache, as it seemed. They always danced dangerously close and their eyes were always locked in an intense gaze.

“Well, well, look who decided to finally show,” Tony chuckled.

“Here’s trouble,” Clint joked.

Pietro and Bucky walked through the doors, dressed in freshly ironed suits, looking neat and tidy themselves. Bucky’s suit was slightly different, buttoning up in a certain way that was different to the one Pietro was wearing. Then Steve remembered Bucky had served in the military and could only assume it was his military dress uniform. The uniform was black with a red trim and gold buttons, a few medals over his left pocket, the white gloves complimenting the outfit. Steve honestly couldn’t deny that he didn’t look good, because...he was _absolutely_ breathtaking. If anything, he looked handsome and very grown up to what Steve usually saw him as on a daily basis.

“We had some business to take care of first,” Bucky replied.

_Moment of ogling the Governor’s son, completely ruined._

“I bet you did,” Clint scoffed, earning a joking scowl from Bucky.

He glanced over at Steve and smiled, before drawing his bottom lip in between his teeth. Steve frowned, but not so much to make it stand out, yet Bucky had noticed, which only made him smile wider.

“We need to search you two for alcohol, we know what you’re like,” Tony mused.

“Sure thing, Steve can uh-” Bucky paused, as he looked at Steve with hooded eyelids. “Search me,” he added, with a slight purr to his voice.

Steve swallowed back the lump in his throat, his gaze averting from Bucky for a moment. The brunette always had a certain way of getting under people’s skin, but his mannerisms were essentially flirtatious beyond belief. _What the hell has gotten into him?_ Steve thought.

“Hey Steve,” Bucky spoke, bringing Steve out of his thoughts.

“Sir,” he hummed.

“Still calling me that,” Bucky sighed, with a brief shake of his head.

The blonde gingerly pointed to his comm which displayed a blue light, to which Bucky nodded in understanding.

“Turn around, back to me,” Steve instructed.

Bucky grinned and turned around, arms slightly out to the side as Steve started to pat him down. When he reached his pockets and slid his hands inside them for a thorough check, Bucky purposely lent his head back and beamed at Steve. He’d made sure it was the side that his comm wasn’t attached to.

“Y’know, if you wanted my pants off, you coulda’ asked. I could pretend to faint and you can drag me some place private,” he whispered, his breath tickling Steve’s ear.

Steve’s entire face and neck ran hot as he choked on an intake of air, hands moving swiftly out of Bucky’s pockets.

“A little inappropriate don’t you think, sir?” he tested, dropping his hands to his side.

“I don’t think I’m doing any harm,” Bucky crowed, turning himself back around. Wow, Steve, look at your tie, what a mess,” he tutted.

He didn’t obtain a chance to reply to the comment, as Bucky wrapped his white gloved hands around Steve’s tie and pulled on it. Steve’s breath hitched in his throat, noticing he was only mere inches away from Bucky’s face where he could smell the faint aroma of a cologne that would have anyone’s head swimming. _The bastard_ he thought. His tie was  _perfect_...or _was._ And Bucky was biting down on his damn lip again. _The bastard_ Steve repeated to himself.

“That’s better,” Bucky murmured, pushing himself away from Steve.

_How the hell did no one notice what just happened?_

“Pietro, you ready, doll,” Bucky teased.

“Fuck you,” Pietro bit back, appearing beside Bucky.

“Hey, language, and you can do that later,” the brunette purred, Steve’s eyes rolling as he sighed irritably.

As the pair went to leave, Steve reached out to Bucky, fingers grasping the end of his sleeve. Bucky raised an eyebrow, his gaze falling on Steve’s hand, before he looked back up.

“If you need me to come and find you during the night, you can connect through to my comm and send a message which will go to my phone,” Steve explained.

Bucky laughed softly.

“Why would I need that?” he snorted.

“I don’t know. In case you’re in trouble, you do know that _he_ is going to be here tonight,” Steve issued.

“Why Steve, are you being caring?” Bucky gushed, in an almost mocking tone.

“You know I do. Use a codeword and I’ll come find you straight away,” Steve hissed, gripping Bucky’s sleeve tighter.

The gesture made Bucky swallow thickly, seeing the _genuine_ care in Steve’s eyes.

“What codeword should I use?” he asked.

“You’ll figure one out,” the blonde answered, letting go of Bucky’s sleeve, sending him on his way.

“Oh boy, here comes _actual_ trouble,” Clint groaned.

Steve turned his attention back to the door after Bucky and Pietro had left, his brow screwing up as he squinted a little. A brunette man with glasses resting on his face was making his way up the pathway, a tall blonde beside him and a few bodyguards behind him. _Oh shit_ Steve thought. It had to be Bruce Banner and his assistant Thor Odinson. Which only meant that the bodyguard Tony had replaced would be present too. Steve’s hands tightly clenched into fists behind his back as he tried to put on his best smile for the _‘guests’._

“Mr Banner, welcome,” Clint greeted.

“Barton, Stark, nice seeing you again,” Bruce responded.

His eyes fell on Steve, before he gave him a small smile and a nod.

“Mr Banner, sir, it’s an honour to meet you,” Steve muttered, lying through his pearly white teeth.

“You’re new. Do you have a name?” he questioned.

“Agent Steve Rogers sir, currently working with S.H.I.E.L.D and working with Governor Barnes’ son as his bodyguard,” Steve uttered.

“Hmm, I bet, you look like the type he’d go for,” Bruce mumbled.

Thor had a wicked grin spread across his face, as if he knew exactly what Bruce was implying with his statement. Steve, ultimately felt threatened in that moment. _No wonder S.H.I.E.L.D had a bone to pick with him._

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t follow,” he said, his tone almost angered.

He could almost feel Tony smirking with his head bowed to not raise suspicion. Steve wasn’t exactly in the mood to feel threatened.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Bruce replied.

“Sir, we’re going to have to search you and Mr Odinson if that’s not too much trouble. Obviously we don’t need to search your bodyguards as they need their weapons with them, for your safety of course,” Tony interjected, sounding as formal as ever.

It was then that Steve’s attention fell on the two bodyguards standing behind Bruce, one younger than the other, one that caught Steve’s eye immediately. Similar to the photograph he’d seen at S.H.I.E.L.D, Steve could only put him down as Grant Ward, who stood with a steely look upon his face. His presence didn’t make Steve’s skin crawl like it did for Tony, but he did feel an off-putting vibe radiating off of Ward. Steve gave him a discreet once over, his jaw set tight and eyes narrowed. Ward managed a meagre smile, but it was anything but polite and friendly. _I’ve got my eyes on you_ Steve thought, briefly cracking his knuckles. It became like a staring episode from an episode of a drama show, Steve didn’t particularly enjoy the burning look in Ward’s eyes that spelled trouble.

“Thank you for cooperating sir, have a great night,” Tony chimed, a little too sweetly and sarcastically.

Steve tried his hardest to hide his smile as Bruce, Thor, Ward and the other bodyguard left without another word being exchanged.

“Is that everyone?” Clint asked.

“I think so, either way the other bodyguards can take it from here. Steve you’re on duty for Bucky, Tony and I need to be close by to Governor Barnes seeing as Banner is here,” Clint informed.

“No problem,” Steve answered, steeping away from the doors as he made his way down a shirt flight of stairs.

He scoped the room to pinpoint where everyone was that was present for the evening, so to track their movements easier. Natasha and Peggy were near the quartet with Fitz, Simmons, Misha and Craig, while Isla, Angelo, Dorian and Pepper were standing by another open doorway to a balcony. Pietro was picking up glasses of champagne from a food and drinks table, making small talk with a guest beside him. Which only made Steve wonder where Bucky had gone. Governor Barnes was standing in the middle of the room by a fountain, greeting Bruce, with Bucky standing right beside him. Steve caught on to the brief glance exchanged by Bucky and Ward, the brunette’s hands tucked behind his back as he chewed on his lip. He could see a slight hint of distress and anxiety washing over Bucky. _If Ward was such a threat, why the hell was Bucky near him?_ Then again, he figured Ward wouldn’t be able to be his _true_ self while in the presence of the Governor. Steve weaved through guests, apologising profusely, shifting closer and closer to Bucky. As cautiously as he could, he tapped Bucky on the arm and then sought out Pietro to wave him over.

“Both of you, stay together,” he hissed, before disappearing into another group of guests.

“Would you like a drink, Bucky?” Pietro mused.

“No I wh-” Bucky stopped, darting his eyes to Ward’s again.

His skin prickled like needles stabbing his skin when he saw a flicker of smugness on Ward’s face. He always had been intimidating, but with Bucky it was something more than that, it was almost... _disturbing._

“Come on, we’re dancing,” he uttered, abruptly taking the champagne and placing it on a table, before dragging Pietro to the polished wooden floor.

“Micuţo, you know how to dance now?” he quizzed.

“Shh, котенок, just moved with me,” Bucky grunted.

The brunette rested one hand on Pietro’s back, the other coming up to take his hand. His eyes were still like a startled sheep’s, but relaxed as soon as Ward was out of his line of sight. He started to move, counting down the steps in his head before spinning with Pietro. It was a slightly fast paced song, yet he’d practiced and practiced for days on end, keeping up wasn’t so hard.

“Bucky, how the hell did you learn all this so quick?” Pietro asked.

“I had a little help,” he muttered.

As he took another spin, he saw Steve out of the corner of his eye, a small smile showing on the blonde’s face for a brief moment. He was spinning and stepping faster now, so guests went by in blurs of colour. He’d drawn a fair amount of attention, even his father stopped talking to old friends of his to watch his son dancing with finesse and elegance.

“I’m going to spin you out and grab a new partner,” the brunette panted out.

Turns out fast dancing was a real work out.

“Okay,” Pietro replied, with a grin.

He didn’t know where all the energy had come from, but he felt like he’d worked off the three course dinner he had before attending the festivities. Bucky spun Pietro out and then turned gracefully to make eye contact with Peggy. He held his gloved hand out and smiled that warm smile which melted anyone’s heart.

“Miss Carter,” he addressed.

Peggy, of course, looked over to Natasha, who gave her an affirming nod in return and a brief smile. Bucky smiled wider and curled his fingers around Peggy’s, bringing her in close to his chest. He could see Steve smirking again in the far corner. Fucking charmer the blonde thought. The dancing continued, with Bucky and Peggy spinning in a whirl of red and black, Bucky’s hand resting on Peggy’s hip to hold her steadily. Steve had heard Natasha say to them to have fun, but he didn’t realise it would be that much fun to watch someone dancing and being the main attraction for the night. If he were being honest with himself, he couldn’t take his eyes off Bucky because he was dancing so perfectly.

“Mr Barnes, I’m impressed,” Peggy commented.

Bucky chuckled and glanced around the room, before looking back at Peggy.

“Miss Carter it’s about to get even more impressive,” he mused.

Gasps of amazement filtered the room as Bucky twirled Peggy twice, before dipping her back, his hands falling easily to her back. He winked at her while the guests started clapping, Bucky’s smile becoming a giant beacon of light with pearly white teeth. They gave the crowd a gracious bow before Bucky excused himself and slipped into the passing guests who decided to congregate on the dance floor.

“Excuse me,” he mumbled, politely brushing by people to reach the stairs.

“Hey, you okay kid?” Tony whispered, resting his hand on Bucky’s arm.

“Yeah, just going to use the bathroom. I won’t be long,” the brunette replied.

Tony nodded once and walked away, his gaze still trained on Bucky until he disappeared behind the wall to the hallway. Bucky breathed a heavy sigh and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his uniform. Sometimes he felt too claustrophobic in it when he wasn’t in the mood to wear it. He wandered down to the end of the hallway to the open balcony doors, leaning himself against the wall and closing his eyes.

“Bucky,” a rough voice crowed.

In that moment, Bucky could feel the colour draining from his face, his eyes snapping open to be met by a pair that haunted him in his sleep. _No_ he thought. _No I’m hallucinating from my last fix_ he told himself, shutting his eyes again. Yet when he opened them, he still stared back at those eyes that were lit by the moonlight, panic rising in his chest. Ward stepped out of the shadows that encased a majority of the hallway, his smile almost pleased but also full of pure wickedness like it always had been.

“You haven’t changed much,” he continued, eyes darting down, then back up.

Bucky couldn’t stop the chilling shudder that shot down his spine, swallowing heavily as if the air suddenly became thick. Whatever words he thought on saying were trapped in his throat and all he could manage was a weak wince.

“You look great,” he added.

“Don’t fucking  _touch_ me,” Bucky snarled, slapping Ward’s hand away when he reached out to him.

“Aw,” Ward crooned, with a sneer. “Don’t be like that...you little _whore,_ ” he growled, voice barely a whisper.

“Fuck you!” Bucky spat, his eyes burning with rage and disgust.

“Oh come on, you enjoyed it,” he added.

Bucky blanched.

“You’re disgusting,” he hissed.

Ward took a step towards Bucky, who shoved his hand out in front of himself, pressing it to Ward’s chest with a hard force.

“You have some strength in you now,” he chuckled. “Too bad it’s still not enough, I can still overpower you,” he ussued.

“I doubt it,” Bucky retorted.

“Come on, for old times sake,” Ward purred.

His hand was touching Bucky’s jaw, before moving down to his chest to pop another button open. Bucky flinched and slid his discreetly into his left pocket to reach for his phone. _Thank god_ he hadn’t put a password on it as he slid his thumb down to the keypad. Luckily, Tony had taught him how to memorise his keypad easily as he sneakily typed out one simple word to gain Steve’s attention.

Steve nearly jumped out of his skin when his comm beeped in his ear. He fished his phone out of his pocket and swiped his thumb over the screen.

_**Sputnik - B** _

His brow creased, until he recalled what he’d sat at the doors when Bucky had arrived. The blonde shoved his phone back in his pocket and moved to the far wall to get a clear path to the staircase.

“Stark, Barton. I need one of you right now. Winter is in trouble. Get to the stairs that lead to the bathrooms immediately,” he ordered.

“On it,” Tony responded.

“I’ll see if I can slip away for a minute,” Clint replied.

If Steve walked any faster he’d surely end up running. He jogged up the stairs at a frantic pace, dodging guests as he went, blood pumping deep in his veins. What he saw was everything he didn’t want to see, Bucky crowded against a wall, eyes wide, glassy and _terrified,_ hand pressed against the man’s chest, looming over him like a predator. It didn’t help that Steve recognised Ward’s face, partially shadowed in dark.

“Hey!” he yelled, rushing forward like a man on a serious mission.

Steve had Ward by the scruff of his collar as he pushed him back against the opposite wall, his free arm held out to shield Bucky.

“Back off!” he barked.

“Sent your lap dog after me. Smart Bucky, smart,” Ward laughed, coldly.

Though his words went unnoticed.

“Sir, are you okay?” Steve questioned, feeling his chest rise and fall from rushing so fast.

“M’fine,” Bucky drawled, his voice a little shaky.

The blonde’s eyes were back on Ward, filled with fury and distaste as he straightened himself up to stand taller.

“I don’t know _exactly_ what you’ve done, Agent Ward. But I’ve been informed to keep Barnes away from you,” he spoke.

Ward scoffed.

“You did a great job already,” he taunted.

 _That_ stung like hell for Steve, his tough exterior breaking a little. There was a time after Rumlow’s accident on a mission where the other agents blamed Steve. The sarcasm in their voices tore Steve apart from the inside.

_“I swore to protect Agent Rumlow!”_

_“Well you did a great job of that already,”_

He clenched his jaw to stop the shuddering breath that wanted to escaped. _Fight it Steve_ he told himself.

“Shut your _fucking_ mouth Ward! You don’t even deserve to breathe!” Bucky interjected, pushing against Steve’s arm.

“James,” Steve whispered.

Bucky always became startled when Steve called him by his first name now. Part of it felt right, part of it felt wrong. Yet his tone was so calming, so sincere, Bucky was beginning to hear his tone like that when Steve was off duty. He couldn’t describe how relaxed it made him feel...how _safe._ No one had ever made him feel like that...not since his mother’s passing.

“Can we leave? Just take Pietro and I to the other party,” he mumbled.

“I think you’d be better back at the mansion,” Steve sighed.

“Steve... _please_...the night is still young. If you won’t take us I’ll ask Tony because he will. I don’t need to go home I just need to get away from this-this... _scumbag,_ ” Bucky protested.

“Okay, _fine._ I’ll take you,” Steve grumbled, ushering Bucky behind him. “I’ve got my eyes on you,” he warned, jabbing his finger at Ward.

Tony walked over to them with a worried look on his face, stopping in his tracks to look over Bucky, fussing over him. Bucky shook his head with a tender grin, resting his hand over Tony’s that was placed on his forearm. Steve saw right then exactly what Tony had meant when he’d mentioned that he cared about Bucky, like he was his own son. He never saw those kinds of exchanges between George Barnes and his son. If anything, He’d put Tony and Bucky down as father and son. The relieved look on Bucky’s face at seeing Tony was so unbearable, Steve had to turn away and breath a little. It reminded him of himself and his father before he’d died, they were inseperable and Steve missed him _everyday._

“You okay kiddo? Not hurt or anything?” Tony asked.

“Just a little shaky. Pietro and I are going to go to this other party,” he answered.

“Well, you’re gonna’ need an excuse, you weren’t here long,” Tony said.

Steve heard Ward speaking in the far corner before he slipped by them, Steve’s gaze burning into his skull.

“Yeah, and I have an excuse,” Bucky hummed, confidence laced in his voice.

They began making their way back down to the party, Steve behind Bucky, Tony beside Steve, when Bucky put his plan into play. He peered over his shoulder, his gaze locking with Steve’s as he smiled softly.

“Hey Steve,” he spoke.

“Hm?” Steve responded.

“Catch me,” he blurted out.

“What?” Steve gasped out.

Suddenly, without warning, Bucky collapsed on the last step, shocked gasps and yells bellowing in the room. Luckily Steve’s reflexes reacted on their own accord, arms outstretched to catch Bucky before he hit the ground. But, _god,_ he was heavy so Steve only had his upper body sitting upright.

“Sir? Sir!” he shouted, playing along with the act.

“What happened!” a voice demanded.

Steve glanced up to see Governor Barnes making his way over, face laced with concern.

“Fainted, sir,” he informed.

“Maybe we should get him back to the mansion,” Tony interjected, involving himself in the act also.

“Yes, I think so, he must be coming down with something,” Governor Barnes replied.

“Stark, go and find Pietro I’ll get Barnes to the SUV,” Steve uttered.

Tony nodded and left as Steve lifted Bucky, hooking his arm underneath Bucky’s legs, the other wrapped under his limp arms. He walked through the clear pathway made that led to the doors, catching Natasha looking at Bucky with some worry.

“Just fainted,” he said, earning a nod in return.

The air was cold outside and Steve trudged across the stone driveway to get access to the SUV he’d driven in. Bucky hadn’t stirred yet and Steve raised an eyebrow as he shook the brunette gently.

“Sir, we’re at the car now,” he called, as quietly as he could.

But Bucky remained limp in his arms, head resting against Steve’s chest. _Shit, he’s actually made himself pass out_ Steve thought, dropping Bucky’s legs to the ground, feeling Bucky sag against him.

“God you’re a _lot_ heavier than you look,” he choked out, reaching into his pocket for the keys.

“Steve! I’ve got Pietro!” Tony yelled, his footsteps loud on the stones. “Why is Bucky still passed out? I thought it was fake?” he queried.

“Well, Barnes decided to _actually_ make himself pass out. Pressure point on his neck. He could have killed himself for fucks sake,” Steve growled.

His hands were quivering and Tony stepped forward, dropping his hand down onto Steve’s to retrieve the keys.

“I’ll drive, you and Pietro get Bucky in the back. He shouldn’t be out for too long,” he assured him.

“Bucky, you fucking idiot,” Pietro cursed, before ranting on in a language Steve was unfamiliar with.

Steve couldn’t dull the sick feeling in his stomach, seeing Bucky a few minutes ago looking like a deer in the headlights. He felt like he’d failed to protect him already. Ward was so close to him and Steve was too busy downstairs. The way Ward had looked at him like a piece of meat didn’t sit well with Steve either. He managed to help Pietro get Bucky into the back of the SUV, closing the door behind them when Pietro had gotten in after. The blonde took a breather before getting into the passenger side and settling into the seat.

“Pietro can give us directions,” he breathed out, scrubbing a hand down his face. “God, I can’t believe I let it get _that_ far, I should have been there, Ward shouldn’t have been _anywhere_ near him, I feel like I’ve failed already,” he wavered.

“It’s not your fault Steve. You got there as quick as you could. He’s fine. But you might want to take a few minutes to relax until we get to this party,” Tony suggested.

“Why?” Steve asked.

Tony was silent for a while as they drove away from the venue, Pietro whispering softly to Bucky.

“Because...you’re about to see just how hard Bucky Barnes parties,” he cautioned.

“Well that can’t be good...” Steve replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Micuţo - little one  
> котенок - kitten
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at: [x-crossbones-x](http://x-crossbones-x.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [16 Hours](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4545150) by [kalika_999](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalika_999/pseuds/kalika_999)




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